Random Acts of "Kindness"

Posts tagged ‘Stress’

SCAMMED AGAIN

I admit that I have many “friends in high places.” Although I’m sure that they protect me from many things, they CAN NOT PROTECT me from everything. Nor do I expect them to. And I’m also sure that there are many times when they are involved in other things. Exactly what occurred on Monday I’m not sure. I had taken advantage of a snow free day to get some shopping accomplished. I left before noon, went to Wal-Mart, then Aldi’s and arrived at Costco in time to pick up my prescription. I’ll admit that I was tired. I don’t know if that was to blame.

Loading my car, I noticed white on the rear bumper of my red car. I wasn’t happy to see it and wondered where it had come from. Leaving Costco, driving down the road, a man in a car next to me honked his horn, over and over. “Hi don’t you remember me?” he said. “What are you doing here? I know you from the dealer where you bought your car. I was transferred up here to take care of my ill mother.” I did not remember him, was not interested in talking to him, but we were stopped for a red light.

“Did you see the white on your back bumper? Did you notice the dent on your front panel? How did it happen? Has anybody else been driving your car? ” I knew about the white on the bumper but HAD NOT NOTICED A DENT. “Follow me, I can fix it.” And stupidly I did. I wanted to see the dent on the front panel.

“I can fix that for you. It would cost more than a $1000 plus dollars for your bumper. I can pull out your dent.” Stupidly I DID NOT pull away from their car. After his associate did what (?), he thought I should reimburse them for the material he used. He COULD NOT take a check, he didn’t want to jeopardize his job. “Where was my bank? Did I have a credit card?” Stupidly I should have just started driving and let him jump out. Stupidly I gave him cash — $60.

When I reached home, we noticed that the front panel was coated with some sort of substance. It looked like turtle wax. There was more on the back tire. This morning, I noticed there was a film on the back panel of the car. More turtle wax?

I have to admit that I was ANGRY at myself for having fallen for the scam. I COULD NOT fall asleep that night. To make matters worse, when I looked at my watch at 5:00AM, it was black. Even though it had been charged before I went to bed, the charge was gone.

I’m wondering if they messed with my car when it was in the Costco parking lot. I’m wondering if they put white on my car. What about that dent? I’ll never know. I haven’t decided if I should mention it at Costco. I have decided that I’m going to be a bit more careful of where I park.

Category:

Uncategorized

Tagged with:

FLOUNDERING

FLOUNDERING

Flounder — To struggle or plunge about awkwardly. Early in the morning the word came to me. First question — is it a word? Second – what does it mean? That accurately describes my feeling at the moment. Now I know that January has always brought depression in my life. Too many cold days, NO SUNSHINE — nothing to look forward to. Do I need to go on? This year is more difficult. I’m missing my mate. Even though it was cold last year — we had a date to meet friends for lunch, I was ordering his medicine, a date with the doctors was cancelled because it was 3 degrees and I didn’t think we should travel.

Thankfully it is not that cold YET. I know it is coming. Since the ice kept me in the house for a week in October, I’m not looking forward to cold, snow and ICE. `I hate to admit it but I HAVE NOT accomplished anything worthwhile in too long to mention. Television, magazines and stores are full of ideas to lose weight. It would not hurt me to lose a couple of pounds, okay maybe more than a couple but I don’t have the motivation. I DO NOT want to try any of the newest, hottest ways to lose weight nor do I want to try the old and proven. I have learned that I my body needs meat, vegan is not for me.

I planned to go the senior center for an art session and I did. I thought that it would be helpful to learn to draw. Sadly my hand was hurting on the day I went and drawing didn’t help it. It put my hand out of commission for a few days. My daughter asked me if I had fun and I honestly replied “no!”

I won’t bore you with the list of things I DID NOT WANT TO DO. Did that feeling pass? To be honest I don’t know. My stubborn spirit raised its head and I committed to activities that would help. I DID NOT GO CRAZY! No plans to “diet” or restrict my eating. No plans to use my time to organize the house. Instead I committed to two steps. First to walk more than 3,000 steps a day. Looking at my log, many days were under 2,000. Second: do Tai Chi every day. Of course, I also wanted to drink more water and get more sleep. I have been taking my blood pressure daily and the numbers were higher than I wanted.

A week has passed and I’m happy to acknowledge that I met both of my goals.

Category:

Uncategorized

Tagged with:

THEY ARE BACK

THEY ARE BACK

I DID NOT MISS them. A while ago it dawned on me that I hadn’t had a hot flash in a LONG time. Maybe they thought I missed them. I DIDN’T. Days passed and my birthday rolled around. Accomplishment. I’m 75. The day of my birthday I didn’t feel like celebrating. My husband has lung cancer. He had his first chemo treatment and handled it as well as could be expected. He is on oxygen. Climbing the stairs to our bedroom was too much hard work. I DID NOT feel like celebrating.

A few days later, I noticed that my hair was wet, so was my shirt. I changed clothes and did not pay any attention. Until it happened again, and again, and AGAIN. I finally realized what was going on. HOT FLASHES were back. Is this supposed to make me feel younger? It doesn’t!

One flash a day is bad enough. Yesterday I changed my shirt THREE times. Each time my top was VERY damp. I DO NOT like damp clothes. The last thing I need right now is to get sick myself. Just what I need — more stress.

My husband has made some progress. He was able to climb the stairs and sleep in our bedroom. Two or three days of progress. Then various things have sent progress in the wrong direction.

I’d like to apologize for not having anything publish last week. Sadly that might be the first of many times that I miss publishing a thought ramble.

I don’t like to share all my frustration and worries on paper. Some one suggested that if I wrote, I might feel better. “My friends in high places” are always ready to help. One of my words for today was adversity. Not what I wanted to hear or read. The bible opened to more fighting. I didn’t read the chapter. Oatmeal that I was making for breakfast ran out of water and needed another 10 minutes to soften. My blood pressure pills escaped from their pill box and hid on the floor. The computer that I’m using developed a black screen. SCARING ME! One of the plugs for the connection had loosened and I ran out of battery. At least it was an easy fix.

Category:

Uncategorized

Tagged with:

AGING AGAIN

AGING AGAIN

This past week flew by. TIME did NOT stand still. Instead it disappeared in a blink of an eye. More important things took the place of normal life. Days disappeared. Suddenly it was the weekend and although I might have thought about writing, that thought quickly disappeared.

I must admit that I have no idea when this was published. Sadly I haven’t put the date on anything I’ve written. . Somehow I don’t see that changing. I have added another year to my age. I wish I could announce that I have done this exercise numerous times and my flexibility has GREATLY IMPROVED. I don’t like to lie. Sadly the DVD was lost . Although I searched and searched, it stayed hidden until recently. Now with the current health challenge, I’m not sure it will fit into my current schedule. I was SURPRISED to learn how high my blood pressure had risen. I thought I was handling the STRESS, evidently I was WRONG.
AGING BACKWARDS

I was intrigued when I learned of the DVD. I was very happy when the person who told me about it, followed up with an email with the correct title and presenter. Instead of debating for weeks, I searched, found and ordered right away. In fact, it arrived before we went back out to the camper. It traveled with me. And I actually opened it and tried out the first exercise before we even left.

It was a good thing that I did. Exercise clothes that I previously been able to wear were impossible to remove. My shoulders have tightened up, as well as other body parts. Since I had advanced warning, I was able to bring clothes to exercise in.

The exercises are extremely gentle. I have trouble getting down on the floor. The first time I did the floor work, I sat on the couch. I have since been able to get down onto the floor, getting up is still a major problem. My knees don’t want to support my weight. My right leg doesn’t bend like it used to. I’m guessing that the stiffness in my body contributes to my feeling of being old. I’m hoping that as I become more flexible, that feeling will pass.

Each time I have done the exercises – one compete set is for muscles, the second for bones and uses a chair for bar work — that night various body parts protest that I moved them. I have done the complete series 6 times now. Either I’m trying harder or working more of my body parts because various muscles let me know they I worked them. I’m hoping that getting up from a chair will be easier, as well as getting out of a car. “My friends” are very happy that I’m moving. So far I do two sets, one for muscles, the next day one for bones and I’m allowed to take the next day off. We will see how long this lasts.

This is the beginners set. We will have to see if the powers that be decide I need a more advanced set. I would really like to be able to get up from the floor unaided and out of a chair. I would like to use the reclining chairs at the pool. Of course, I would like my knees to work like they used to and be able to take my clothes off, UNAIDED!

AGING BACKWARDS — I’m ready!

Category:

Uncategorized

Tagged with:

CHALLENGES AHEAD

CHALLENGES AHEAD

I am very sorry to share this information — my husband has been diagnosed with small cell lung cancer. He starts Chemo on Monday. He was just released from the hospital yesterday, home for the first time in over a week. What was a normal life has disappeared. Time spent in the hospital, time spent in transit, time spent communicating information to absent, concerned members of the family. NO TIME TO WRITE A THOUGHT RAMBLE OR TWO.

At this moment and time I don’t know if I will be able to publish a thought ramble every week. Everyone has a job to do. I do the best I can but sometimes circumstances out of my control intervene. I have learned that it is important I share my life in these rambles. It would be so easy to quit.

Until I have time to write a fresh thought ramble each week, I hope to republish thought rambles from the past. Since I have been writing more than five years there must be many to choose from. I hope that they are meaningful for you. I totally understand if your life is too busy to reread some thought rambles.

“MY friends in High Places” continue to “help” and support each day. Even though my husband was released from the hospital a few days ago, because of breathing or other issues, he ended up staying overnight again. Thankfully I have a strong faith and because of my many learning experiences, recognize the “help” when it arrives.

As hard as this challenge is for my husband who is fighting for each breath — it is hard for those who love him and are powerless to help.

Category:

Uncategorized

Tagged with:

OLD MAN

Sadly, right before my eyes I watched my husband change from a vibrant person to an old man. I became concerned with his breathing. We were in the country, I should have said that we needed to return home. I should have insisted that he see a doctor. Instead I watched, counting the number of days when we were scheduled to come home. I’ll admit that the night he couldn’t sleep because he couldn’t get comfortable worried me. I will admit that the night I discovered he was sitting out on the porch in the wee hours of the morning concerned me. I will admit that when he got the worst charley horse ever in his leg I was alarmed.

When we arrived home, I was still counting the days until his scheduled doctor’s appointment. I don’t know what moved me on a Friday morning to call his doctors office and leave a message that he needed an appointment. The message led to an office visit, a chest x-ray and the discovery of pneumonia. The pneumonia was well hidden behind a mass in his lung.

Tuesday morning, when I woke at 5 AM, he asked me to put ointment on his leg that I used for my knees. His leg was hurting — he didn’t sleep all night. I was ANGRY — Why didn’t he wake me. He had a scheduled appointment at the VA for his feet. Thankfully, although he was feeling better to make the trip, he didn’t get his nails cut. Instead we went to the ER where after waiting over an hour, he was given a room. Within an hour and a half he received another chest x-ray, an EKG and a procedure to check his leg. The medicine that he was taking for his pneumonia, although helping, wasn’t strong enough to heal it. The doctor decided he should spend the night. I took his cane and drove more than 30 miles home.

The VA is a very busy place. While we waited for a room, three gentlemen came in who were sicker. While they waited to send my husband up to a room in the hospital, a sicker person arrived who needed the remaining room. My husband was asked what hospital he wanted to be transferred to. He gave them the name of a hospital that is less than FIVE MILES from home.

The care he received at the hospital was EXCELLENT. Once again he got to take all the tests all over again. They even did a procedure to investigate his lung. The doctor he had took the time to thoroughly discuss his condition. After a couple of days he was released and is home.

Our son had been working out of town. When I didn’t update him with his father’s condition on Tuesday, he booked a flight home. I was glad he was home.

Sunday, in the car, heading for Mass, I turned the radio on. Instead of hearing music, I heard a talk show “I’m listening to you.” or a title something similar. The people talking recounted PSD, having a leg shot at a music concert and the aftermath. Another spoke of suicide. It DID NOT MATTER what station I got on the radio. The results where the same “I’m listening to you.!”

.

Category:

Uncategorized

Tagged with:

TAKING STOCK

I really like the fall season. I like the cooler temperatures and the changing of the leaves. I don’t know what the reason is but the fall season also brings on a depression. I don’t know if it is because winter is coming or the seasonal changes.

Fall came early this year. The drop in the temperature at night reminded me that summer was almost over. I knew that there would be many warm days ahead. Suddenly I started thinking of what I have accomplished and what I have failed to do. When I realized that my thinking was more negative than positive, I looked for positive.

Now I will admit that I had HELP! First I did a belly flop on the deck at the camper. Luckily I didn’t break anything. Various body parts PROTESTED. Our granddaughter was on hand to witness my fall and did a great replay for her parents.

Back home, I took Robin for her morning walk and ended up cutting my head on the latch to the gate. Head wounds bleed profusely and I left a trail of blood down the sidewalk, up the stairs and into the house. I had lovely red hair for a few hours. I didn’t want to wash my hair until the wound had a chance to firm up.

My daughter asked what “my friends” were trying to tell me. I really didn’t know. BUT I started to take stock. I didn’t have a thought ramble ready to publish so I sat down and wrote two. My weight has been creeping up again. I’m still trying to find the right food plan for me. I decided that I would cut back on the wine. I would limit it to two glasses. My next decision was to exercise on a regular basis hoping that would help my flexibility. I started, then life interfered again.

On a beautiful summer day, my husband and I visited the zoo. I asked him to call our oldest daughter. When he tried, he learned that his phone had lost ALL contact information. When we went to the phone store, we learned that they could NOT restore his phone book. I had been considering giving up my flip phone for a smart phone. My family was having trouble understanding me when I talked. It was an EXPENSIVE afternoon. We left the store with TWO new phones. They COULD NOT transfer my phone book to the new phone. Days later, I still DON’T have all the numbers entered.

Something is still going on. Last night I noticed that the watch band on my Fit Bit watch was only holding on by a thread. When I contacted the company, they asked me to send a picture of the watch. I used my NEW phone to do that. BLOCKS are on, I was successful in taking the picture, but NOT in sending the photo to them.

In the past few weeks I have been reminded about a couple of things. Deepak Chopra shared that the greatest gift he could give to the world was to show up as himself. I realized that is what I have been trying to do. Whatever the situation, I help when I can and try to be open to learning. I also recently learned that as important as it is to forgive others, it is even MORE IMPORTANT TO FORGIVE YOURSELF.

Category:

Uncategorized

Tagged with:

BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS

Recently I was asked two interesting questions. First: Take a moment to review the various environments you were a part of in the course of last week. Second: How did you show up? What quality of energy did you project?

I was reminded of last Monday. I felt like I was bouncing off the walls. I had received a new Fit Bit watch and had spent an hour with a person at Fit Bit trying to get the new watch to connect. After an hour I thanked the gentleman for trying and said I would try again the next morning. I tried again the next morning without making the phone call. I’m not sure what the problem was. The watch would connect with the Fit Bit site, load partially, then stop. Over and Over and OVER AGAIN. I’m not sure how long I spent with the watch and my computer — solving NOTHING. Finally I took my computer to a different area in the house. Maybe the internet signal was stronger, I don’t know. IT FINALLY WORKED.

We were only in town for three days. I had many things that needed to be done. I didn’t feel I had the time to waste setting up the watch. I don’t use my watch for all of the programs that is listed but I do rely on it to calculate the number of steps I take a day and the amount of sleep I get.

Frustrated, I took Robin for a walk. I met a neighbor who I enjoy talking too. Except I don’t think she was too happy to see me that morning. Normally I’m calm and collected. “Monday I was a wild woman!” Best description was bouncing off the walls. Pure Frustration!

The day continued in that frustrating vein. Normally I get “HELP” from the other side. If I was receiving any, it was hidden. I wanted to deposit a couple of checks into our bank account. Normally I go inside BUT I was already running late. I went through the drive through. Our bank had just switched ownership. The deposit slip I had was from the old bank. To make matters more interesting, I couldn’t reach the transfer site from my car. I had to get out to make the transaction. Then fill out another slip of paper? I left the car parked in the drive through and went inside.

Thankfully next stop was no problem. I needed to refill prescriptions. They were ready. Stopping at the grocery store, the cart was pushed by the wind away from me once I had unloaded it. Thankfully a younger man chased it and brought it back.

I was VERY GLAD to get back home. My husband not only unloaded our car, but parked it for me.

Category:

Uncategorized

Tagged with:

HELPING HAND

I’ll admit that I was TIRED. VERY TIRED. We were watching our daughter’s dogs : Tessa, A King Charles Spaniel and Luna, a young black lab puppy while our daughter’s family took a much needed vacation. Luna was FULL of energy and wanted to go out about every two hours. Tessa LIKED to sleep with us. Her breed is a lap dog, very good for keeping bodies warm. Luna, on the other hand, is everything a puppy should be. Loving and full of mischief. We were able to convince her that she should sleep on a dog pillow in the room off our bedroom, NOT ON OUR BED! It worked out fine. She could find me in the wee hours of the morning when she needed to go out. The first day she was with us, we let her have access to too much water. The second day we started restricting it. By the time they went home, Luna only needed to go out once in the wee hours.

Thursday the day had begun challenging. I wanted to pay our electric bill. I didn’t remember receiving it and phoned. I had an old bill to get our account number and the phone number. When it came time to pay the bill, the old bill had disappeared. ?? I found an even older bill in the shredding bucket. Both my husband and I had doctor appointments later in the day. I had trouble paying for parking at the meter. I finally decided that walking a bit further was a good option. I was concerned that my blood pressure would be high. I knew I was already stressed. Before leaving home I had Tension Tamer Tea, then a cup of Chamomile Mint for good measure. I was concerned that my blood pressure would be HIGH! My children wanted me to ask our doctor about my knees. Confirmed — I have arthritis. I also asked about my stiff neck. He showed me an exercise to do to help loosen it and also prescribed a muscle relaxant. Thankfully my blood pressure wasn’t high. I received a few prescriptions that I needed to pick up on Friday. Since we had extra dogs, a young one that liked to get into trouble, I went by myself.

I must have looked extremely OLD and very tired. Before leaving home, I tried to boost my energy with coffee and tea. It didn’t really work. My plans called for two more stores besides Costco. At Aldi’s, I thought I picked a parking space that would allow enough room to open the door and exit. I had TROUBLE — my legs didn’t want to bend. They got stuck. The woman in the car next to me must have noticed my problems, she started her car, backed up enough for me to open the door completely, then moved back into her spot. Amazed, I was EXTREMELY GRATEFUL!

Trader Joe’s was my next stop. No problems finding a parking spot that allowed me to exit the car. Still room to get back in the driver’s seat when I returned from shopping. I decided to take the cart back. Returning to the car I realized I should have exited at the ramp, instead of the higher curb. Assessing the situation, I decided to move back to the ramp when TWO ASIAN woman came by and offered me a steadying arm to descend. Once again, I was EXTREMELY GRATEFUL. I LOVE it when I have help shopping. THANK YOU!

Category:

Uncategorized

Tagged with:

PUZZLED

There are subjects that I avoid in my writing. I don’t waste time or energy thinking about or writing about religion or politics. Except sometimes rules are meant to be broken. This seems to be one of those times.

I’ve mentioned that I feel that the BLOCKS are on. I don’t seem to be the only one that is being BLOCKED. Our granddaughter is experiencing major migraines. One of my daughters has tried to help her with Reiki. Successful before, now it is blocked. Our grand daughter ended up spending time in the hospital but left after a couple of days, no better for the experience. Of course I have been storming heaven with prayers for my granddaughter, without success. Answer in a reading in the Bible, paraphrased “God can do all things.” Reading concerned a problem in the old testament where God intervened. I almost didn’t read the whole thing — tired of reading about battles, etc. I was thankful for the story, I’ll keep storming heaven.

I’ve mentioned that I receive messages in various ways — newspaper, radio, TV, friends. Sometimes the thought is in my head. That is where the idea came from for this ramble. I’ve searched and searched for subjects to write about without success. Every title I think about has already been used.

By now you are wondering just what I’m rambling on this time. I’ve noticed that there are times when “help” seems to be missing. Usually it is during a crisis: hurricane, earthquake, tornadoes, forest fires, snow storm — the list goes on and on. Those that “help” are VERY busy.

Years and years ago my husband was in the army. At the end of the month we always ran out of money. I often made ketchup spaghetti, one of the few supplies still in the house. The folks in our armed services have more money now, but expense are also higher. Living from paycheck to paycheck is a way of life. EXCEPT — the Government is shut down. NO ONE is receiving paychecks!

Where are the angels and others who normally help us? I’m sure they are VERY BUSY. No end seems to be in sight. Five week shutdown and going. Over 8,000 government employees are going without a second paycheck –medicine, food, homes, cars — money. It is past time to not only increase our prayer time but broaden requests to include our nation.

Category:

Uncategorized

Tagged with:

Tag Cloud