Random Acts of "Kindness"

Posts tagged ‘directions’

PURPOSE

I hate to admit it but my zest for life is hiding. I can easily sit in a chair or lay on the couch and watch the world go by. Many people are using this “stay at home time” to clean their house. Get rid of clutter. Catch up on projects. I AM NOT ONE OF THEM! I used to enjoy cooking — always looking for new recipes to make. That is another task that is on the side. I know it would be in my best interest to paint. I have the supplies but not the desire. A friend has counseled me to have patience with myself. This month will make 6 months since my husband passed. AND I VERY COMFORTABLY SIT HERE AND WATCHED THE WORLD GO BY!

I know that I want to spend time at the camper. I’m not afraid to stay out there by myself. Cleaning up the back yard, walking on the uneven terrain was challenging. It reminded me of the uneven terrain at the camper. Will I be able to walk out there? The last time I cleaned up the back yard, I took a cane. IT HELPED.

Staying home, not shopping uses up the stock of food in the house. The day finally came when I had to go to Wal-Mart. I have been putting off that shopping trip because of the virus. I made my list — it was lengthy. I wanted to go early, before the store got too crowded. I looked at the temperature on my phone and it registered 27. I forgot to check a detail and looked at the temperature again –102. WHAT? HOW? WHERE? I must admit it stopped my thinking IMMEDIATELY. DEFINITELY CAUGHT MY ATTENTION. Researched revealed it was the temperature in Rajasthan, India? That reading bubbled in my mind for a while. Then I remembered that I had thought of checking my temperature before I went to the store. It was normal. Was I being reminded to do that before I left?

I wore a mask and had plastic gloves on my hands. Thankfully there was NO LINE waiting to get into the store. There were long lines in the cashiers waiting to get out. I headed for pharmacy, shoes and dog food and the rest of the groceries. My cart was LOADED. My KNEES were YELLING. I WANTED TO SIT DOWN and luckily I found a chair. I took the opportunity to check the list on my phone and discovered one forgotten item. THANKFULLY there was no line waiting to check out. I told the cashier she was going to get a break because it would take me awhile. IT DID.

LESSON LEARNED: I have to regain my stamina if I wanted to SAFELY STAY BY MYSELF at the camper. Sitting and watching the world go by was NOT IN MY BEST INTEREST.

I have a collection of exercise DVD’S and picked a Classical Stretch to begin working on my body. The exercises were EASY but the next day my knees as well as my back hurt. DETERMINED — I was going to exercise anyway. The DVD player WOULD NOT WORK. My son managed to get it working but I decided to take the day off. On the other side — My MAN IS STILL LOOKING OUT FOR ME.

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BREAD CRUMBS

I don’t know if my life would be easier if I received messages from “my team” in written word or in voice. Since neither occurs in my life I felt like Hanzel and Grettle — searching for directions and reflecting back, look for the meaning.

Confused? Let me explain. When I went to replace my driver’s license on Tuesday, I decided to get gas in my car so I’d be ready to meet our daughter, pick up her dogs, so their family could go on Spring Break. I decided to go to the Costco up North. The lines for gas were shorter. While I was there, I stopped in the neighboring Aldis and picked up potatoes, onions, milk and some fresh vegetables. I noticed that they had a cane on special and a cart that was able to climb stairs. I looked at both items but left them on the shelf. Since we would have extra dogs in the house, I wanted to make sure our pantry was well stocked.

Leaving Aldis I decided to stop in Costco. I didn’t have trunk space for water but I decided to get a 5 LB bag of small potatoes. We discovered that they worked nicely for breakfast hash in the morning.

Arriving home I mentioned the cane and the cart to my son. He thought both would be a good purchase. The cart would be useable when I was in the country, I would have help getting the purchases from car into camper.

Wednesday — I remembered that I needed to get an emission test for the Escape and renew the license. There was a facility near Wal-Mart so I took advantage of a dry day — got the test for the car and license, picked up more supplies at Wal-Mart and returned to Aldis to get the cane, cart AND a deck bird feeder.
I decided to get a feeder for the deck rather than a stand alone because I thought it would be easier to fill.

Thursday — I met our daughter to pick up her dogs along with their dog food and leashes. Our yard is fenced in — I DID NOT PLAN to take them for a walk. Luna is a black Lab — young, full of energy, full of love. Her favorite toy is a ball which she has to take to bed with her. She is most insistent that you play with the ball with her — OVER AND OVER –ALL DAY. Tessa is a small King Charles spaniel. They are bred to be lap warmers and she takes her job very seriously.

Friday — Chicago’s mayor announced schools would be closed starting Tuesday because of the virus until April 7. Illinois Governor issued a message that people should stay in their homes. I went to Costco to pick up a couple of items that were on sale. The parking lot was impossible — too many cars. I waited and got a parking place. Costco was overrun with people. More than 50 people were in one lane waiting to check out. I decided I didn’t need anything that bad. I stopped in Trader Joe’s. Once again the parking lot was full but I waited and got a space. I HAVE NEVER SEEN THE SHELVES SO EMPTY — no milk, eggs, bread, crackers. Some fresh vegetables but not a lot. Most of the meat was gone.

I was VERY THANKFUL I HAD PICKED UP SUPPLIES ON TUESDAY AND WEDNESDAY.

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REBELLING AGAIN

REBELLING AGAIN

I don’t like not being able to go shopping. I DON’T like not being able to drive the car. I DON’T LIKE not being able to go outside. The first two months of this year has restricted my freedom. We have had snow storms that weren’t bad. BUT the snow melted, iced formed. I have had to stay in the house, the stairs were too slippery to go off the porch. I have been unable to drive — the alley was too icy to take the car out of the garage.

I look forward every year to the MIND, BODY, SPIRIT EXPO. I received the information announcing the March Expo. I found a couple of workshops I wanted to attend. Dressed, I assembled the stuff I wanted to take with me. I prepared to transfer my driver’s license into the wallet I was going to take. I COULDN’T FIND IT. I looked everywhere — every purse I might have used, every coat I might have warn. I looked in my car in case it fell out when I was taking out a credit card. My son helped me look with no success. I finally decided NOT to go to the Expo. I don’t know how I lost my drivers license. I don’t know how long I had driven without one. I just decided I wasn’t going to take a chance. My son offered to drive me but I knew he wouldn’t want to stay and turned down his offer.

Normally I return to the Expo for the second day on Sunday. I made an executive decision to stay home. I’m sure I would have found a few talks that would have interested me. Sunday was a bright, WARM, sunny day. I decided to spend time outside instead.

A friend told me it was easy to get a new license BUT NOT TO GO ON A MONDAY. She suggested that I take the documentation needed to get an ID. I had an official copy of my birth certificate. I had proof of my address. I needed proof of my social security card. I took a copy of the form I received for income tax from my husband’s company. It was a good thing I did. I NEEDED A SECOND PROOF OF ADDRESS. I also needed something with my signature on it.

I left home early in the morning on a Tuesday. I entered a door that I thought would lead me to the drivers area. I was wrong. I needed to exit and walk down a distance and climb more stairs. STAIRS ARE NOT MY FRIENDS. I asked if I could wander down the area and get were I needed to go. I had been in the building many times over the years. Maybe it was my age but I was told to go ahead. As I made my way to the driver’s license room a guide appeared to help me. When I told her the purpose of my errand she escorted me to the proper place. I DID NOT NEED TO WAIT IN LINE. The process was quick. I was out of the building before an hour had passed. I have a much better picture on this license than my last one. YEAH!

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INTERVENTION

February is a hard month for me. First — it is colder and cloudy. The excitement of the holidays is over. Usually the decorations for the season have been put away. This year is an exception for me. It still is extremely cloudy — the sun has taken a sabbatical. Our memory Christmas tree changed into an Angel–Valentine tree. It might morph into a Mardi Gras — Easter tree but I doubt it.

Add to that the sadness of my husbands passing. I spoke to a woman who has been a widow for 6 years. She shared that it still isn’t easier. On top of that it was my husbands 81’st birthday. Followed by the anniversary of my father’s passing and soon my father’s birthday. That explains why the Angel tree is still sharing its light in a darker room. I did Tai Chi next to it this morning.

I have noticed more presence or “help” from “my team” on holidays, anniversaries and birthdays. This week has been no exception. My note from my husband’s birthday said I had a contrary phone. My sharing of his photo was blocked. On the anniversary of my father’s passing I stopped at the grocery store for a needed item. A woman noticed my problems walking and told me she used to have the same problem. She has been taking raw turmeric twice a day, ground in her food processor and her knee problems have ended. The product was usually available at the store. On order, it was coming in the next day. Looking for something for lunch I also found lamb chops and petite steak at half price.

Our youngest daughter told me that a friend of hers was taking turmeric liquid twice a day available at Costco. Stopping at the store I found it on sale and put a box in my cart. One of the sample ladies I talk to on a regular basis mentioned that she tried the liquid turmeric but it gave her diarrhea. She also had experienced the same problems that I was having. She switched to a product designed to increase her collagen. She also is no longer having the knee problems. I put the liquid turmeric back and found the collagen powder.

I planned to go to the grocery store and buy fresh turmeric. When I arrived, the product had not come in. A woman heard me asking for it and told me of a store that carried it. It is now in my possession but I haven’t been taking it long enough to notice a difference. I’m going to give the turmeric a week or more to see if it helps before trying the collagen.

Today we have sunshine. The vitamin D pill that I normally take rolled off the floor and is lost somewhere. I guess I’ll have to go outside to get some fresh Vitamin D. I was interested in a cookbook that was advertised on the computer. Suddenly it was blocked, covered up by more advertisements and disappeared when I tried to get it back.

ENOUGH. My children say I need to walk more — I’m going outside to get some sunshine.

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STILL LEARNING

I’m sure that I have mentioned that my father passed over to the other side 25 years ago. Because he had Alzheimer’s disease when he passed, he wanted me to know that he was okay and sent me a sign. He has been very active in my life since then. He also let another cat out of the bag. My mother passed when I was four. I’m sure she has been active in my life for many years but I was unaware. Looking back at some of the things that occurred when my father’s health declined, I can see the “help” of others. Some of that help was included in TO PAP WITH LOVE. I wrote about some of my early learning in JOURNEY WITH ME.

I need admit that I am STILL LEARNING. There is a new angel on the other side. He has learned from his elders and brought new knowledge to the adventure. It is only because I have spent so many years learning that I was receiving “help” that I’m aware of his actions. I recognizer “help” I when I’m shopping — I find something that is needed for a gift or a bargain — or something special on sale. I find someone tall to help me reach something or someone strong to move something into my car. People appear asking if they can help. I’m extremely grateful for all of the above. Sometimes I have a feeling who I can credit, sometimes it is a mystery.

Just being honest, I MISS MY HUSBAND. He was part of my life for more than 55 years. If I’m honest — I’m grateful he is on the other side because he was full of life, often up to no good. His last two months of inactivity was extremely hard for all of us. Continuing on in that state would have been extremely difficult for all of us.

And he is still in character — up to no good on the other side. For which I’m GRATEFUL EXCEPT when he puts blocks up on what I’m trying to do. You CAN NOT ARGUE WITH THEM, THEY WIN! The first time I was aware of his interaction, he blocked the TV from changing channels to the program I wanted to watch. When I finally gave in, went to accomplish a task that was on my to do list, when I returned home, the TV worked like it was supposed to. “My friends in high places” HAD NOT done this to me before. I knew it was him.

Today I was trying to share a photo of him riding a bike with our dog attached to the lead as they were going down the road. NOPE! NOT HAPPENING. Instead — my camera locked on a photo of my husband with Robin on his lap that floated down from somewhere to land on my purse. I COULD NOT get my camera to work like it was supposed to. Our oldest daughter suggested that it was Dad showing a new comer some of the “tricks of the trade.” Watch out world!

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SCAMMED AGAIN

I admit that I have many “friends in high places.” Although I’m sure that they protect me from many things, they CAN NOT PROTECT me from everything. Nor do I expect them to. And I’m also sure that there are many times when they are involved in other things. Exactly what occurred on Monday I’m not sure. I had taken advantage of a snow free day to get some shopping accomplished. I left before noon, went to Wal-Mart, then Aldi’s and arrived at Costco in time to pick up my prescription. I’ll admit that I was tired. I don’t know if that was to blame.

Loading my car, I noticed white on the rear bumper of my red car. I wasn’t happy to see it and wondered where it had come from. Leaving Costco, driving down the road, a man in a car next to me honked his horn, over and over. “Hi don’t you remember me?” he said. “What are you doing here? I know you from the dealer where you bought your car. I was transferred up here to take care of my ill mother.” I did not remember him, was not interested in talking to him, but we were stopped for a red light.

“Did you see the white on your back bumper? Did you notice the dent on your front panel? How did it happen? Has anybody else been driving your car? ” I knew about the white on the bumper but HAD NOT NOTICED A DENT. “Follow me, I can fix it.” And stupidly I did. I wanted to see the dent on the front panel.

“I can fix that for you. It would cost more than a $1000 plus dollars for your bumper. I can pull out your dent.” Stupidly I DID NOT pull away from their car. After his associate did what (?), he thought I should reimburse them for the material he used. He COULD NOT take a check, he didn’t want to jeopardize his job. “Where was my bank? Did I have a credit card?” Stupidly I should have just started driving and let him jump out. Stupidly I gave him cash — $60.

When I reached home, we noticed that the front panel was coated with some sort of substance. It looked like turtle wax. There was more on the back tire. This morning, I noticed there was a film on the back panel of the car. More turtle wax?

I have to admit that I was ANGRY at myself for having fallen for the scam. I COULD NOT fall asleep that night. To make matters worse, when I looked at my watch at 5:00AM, it was black. Even though it had been charged before I went to bed, the charge was gone.

I’m wondering if they messed with my car when it was in the Costco parking lot. I’m wondering if they put white on my car. What about that dent? I’ll never know. I haven’t decided if I should mention it at Costco. I have decided that I’m going to be a bit more careful of where I park.

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FRIEND’S PASSING

The call that I had been expecting finally came. As a matter of fact, as soon as I heard in early November, that Sally, 97 years young, had breast cancer that was invading her body, I had been praying that God would take her home. Before she passed, I learned that every 45 minutes they were giving her morphine for the pain. Four days before her 98th birthday He took her home. And my prayer changed to “thank You.”

I was at home, with a functioning car. The weather was good, I was able to drive out to the suburbs for her wake. On the way, my car signaled low tire pressure. We have a membership at Costco and I had been using their service for my tire pressure problems. I’ll admit that the constant reminder about tire pressure was getting very old. The young man discovered a nail in the ditch of my tire. The location of the nail made it possible to fix the tire. When I asked where I should go to have the nail removed, I learned that Costco could do it. I didn’t have the time but I knew an appointment was in my future.

I had looked up the location of the funeral parlor and wrote down the address and phone number. I was glad I had the information with me. I didn’t have trouble finding the street but finding the funeral parlor was another story. After I had driven back and forth three times without success, I dialed the number. I learned that I had been looking on the wrong side of the street. Thankfully although the lot was PACKED, an empty space was waiting for me.

Sally was from Ireland, and had 10 children. The funeral parlor was overflowing with visitors. I didn’t stay very long. Before leaving, I stopped in the office to thank them for the directions.

The weather on the morning of the funeral was sunshine and blue skies. I didn’t park in our church’s lot because I thought the lot would be overflowing with cars. I didn’t plan to travel to the cemetery.

I had gathered some of my husband’s food items to donate to the open pantry that our church supports. Finding the location to drop them off became its own challenge. The space where the donations were stored was occupied by the Nativity. Asking a few people didn’t give me the answer. Thankfully I found the space in a room where the lecturers gather.

Sally’s sendoff was fitting for an Irish lass. They had arranged for bag pipes to play before and after the Mass. The priest who said the Mass had received very good stories from the family. He remembered Sally from the years he had served at our church in the 80″s. The songs were well chosen, the man who sang the Ave Maria had a beautiful voice.

Two days later, the frames for my bifocal glasses broke. Thankfully they had a similar frame at the eye doctor’s office and were able to fix them that evening. The broken frames reminded me of all of my husbands glasses and I was able to donate them at Costco when I arrived to have my tire fixed.

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FITTING

FITTING

I had to pull out my laptop to take care of a couple of challenges. Since the computer was out, I decided to look for something to republish. This article from last year is still so very true. I have been trying to clear a space in the small room off our bedroom so my husband could sit safely in a chair when he is sleeping. It is easier for him to breath sitting up.

Oh the treasures I have found. Hidden in a black bag was a beautiful knitted project, lovely blue shaded yarn, with safety pins attached to each. loop. ??? I had NO IDEA. What was I making? Thankfully I also found a picture nearby with instructions. WHY DID I STOP? Good questions. No answers.

I’m sure there are more challenges ahead.
ABSENT MINDED

I have noticed that my memory isn’t as good as it was when I was younger. Either the cracks are getting bigger or more stuff is falling through. I’m in trouble when it comes to money — paying bills, remembering to write down debit charges, etc. I panicked recently when I discovered that I forgot to deduct our insurance from the checkbook. Luckily we had the money in there to cover it.

Balancing the checkbook is always a chore. I have money hidden to cover small mistakes. Recently I had to use some of it and the new balance didn’t reflect the subtraction. I didn’t believe the new amount. Thankfully this month the balance is more in line to what I thought it was.

I’m sure I don’t need to mention all the times I lose my glasses or my cell phone. When I misplace money it is even worse. I write myself notes to help me remember where I have put stuff. Especially if it is something I don’t use regularly. I always remember the old place not the new one.

Thankfully I have “friends in high places.” I don’t depend on them but I’ll yell for “help” if I feel the need.
And often they help when asked or when they know I need it.

Yesterday — I planned to heat water in the tea kettle for tea. The burner wouldn’t light. As a matter of fact, NONE of the burners on the stove would light. I asked my husband to work magic and fix it. Before he did, I asked my husband if he wanted to go out for breakfast. We don’t go out often but it just felt like something to do. I even decided to put on a long dress. I seldom wear a skirt or a dress not to mention a long one. I even put on earrings. Most unusual!

We went out for breakfast and on the way to a hardware store our youngest daughter phoned. “Happy anniversary to you” she sang. WHAT? She was right! It was our wedding anniversary. Both my husband and I had forgotten.

Dressed up — out for breakfast — someone in high places had remembered and HELPED.

Just a note: That evening ALL of the burners on the stove lit.

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OLD MAN

Sadly, right before my eyes I watched my husband change from a vibrant person to an old man. I became concerned with his breathing. We were in the country, I should have said that we needed to return home. I should have insisted that he see a doctor. Instead I watched, counting the number of days when we were scheduled to come home. I’ll admit that the night he couldn’t sleep because he couldn’t get comfortable worried me. I will admit that the night I discovered he was sitting out on the porch in the wee hours of the morning concerned me. I will admit that when he got the worst charley horse ever in his leg I was alarmed.

When we arrived home, I was still counting the days until his scheduled doctor’s appointment. I don’t know what moved me on a Friday morning to call his doctors office and leave a message that he needed an appointment. The message led to an office visit, a chest x-ray and the discovery of pneumonia. The pneumonia was well hidden behind a mass in his lung.

Tuesday morning, when I woke at 5 AM, he asked me to put ointment on his leg that I used for my knees. His leg was hurting — he didn’t sleep all night. I was ANGRY — Why didn’t he wake me. He had a scheduled appointment at the VA for his feet. Thankfully, although he was feeling better to make the trip, he didn’t get his nails cut. Instead we went to the ER where after waiting over an hour, he was given a room. Within an hour and a half he received another chest x-ray, an EKG and a procedure to check his leg. The medicine that he was taking for his pneumonia, although helping, wasn’t strong enough to heal it. The doctor decided he should spend the night. I took his cane and drove more than 30 miles home.

The VA is a very busy place. While we waited for a room, three gentlemen came in who were sicker. While they waited to send my husband up to a room in the hospital, a sicker person arrived who needed the remaining room. My husband was asked what hospital he wanted to be transferred to. He gave them the name of a hospital that is less than FIVE MILES from home.

The care he received at the hospital was EXCELLENT. Once again he got to take all the tests all over again. They even did a procedure to investigate his lung. The doctor he had took the time to thoroughly discuss his condition. After a couple of days he was released and is home.

Our son had been working out of town. When I didn’t update him with his father’s condition on Tuesday, he booked a flight home. I was glad he was home.

Sunday, in the car, heading for Mass, I turned the radio on. Instead of hearing music, I heard a talk show “I’m listening to you.” or a title something similar. The people talking recounted PSD, having a leg shot at a music concert and the aftermath. Another spoke of suicide. It DID NOT MATTER what station I got on the radio. The results where the same “I’m listening to you.!”

.

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TAKING STOCK

I really like the fall season. I like the cooler temperatures and the changing of the leaves. I don’t know what the reason is but the fall season also brings on a depression. I don’t know if it is because winter is coming or the seasonal changes.

Fall came early this year. The drop in the temperature at night reminded me that summer was almost over. I knew that there would be many warm days ahead. Suddenly I started thinking of what I have accomplished and what I have failed to do. When I realized that my thinking was more negative than positive, I looked for positive.

Now I will admit that I had HELP! First I did a belly flop on the deck at the camper. Luckily I didn’t break anything. Various body parts PROTESTED. Our granddaughter was on hand to witness my fall and did a great replay for her parents.

Back home, I took Robin for her morning walk and ended up cutting my head on the latch to the gate. Head wounds bleed profusely and I left a trail of blood down the sidewalk, up the stairs and into the house. I had lovely red hair for a few hours. I didn’t want to wash my hair until the wound had a chance to firm up.

My daughter asked what “my friends” were trying to tell me. I really didn’t know. BUT I started to take stock. I didn’t have a thought ramble ready to publish so I sat down and wrote two. My weight has been creeping up again. I’m still trying to find the right food plan for me. I decided that I would cut back on the wine. I would limit it to two glasses. My next decision was to exercise on a regular basis hoping that would help my flexibility. I started, then life interfered again.

On a beautiful summer day, my husband and I visited the zoo. I asked him to call our oldest daughter. When he tried, he learned that his phone had lost ALL contact information. When we went to the phone store, we learned that they could NOT restore his phone book. I had been considering giving up my flip phone for a smart phone. My family was having trouble understanding me when I talked. It was an EXPENSIVE afternoon. We left the store with TWO new phones. They COULD NOT transfer my phone book to the new phone. Days later, I still DON’T have all the numbers entered.

Something is still going on. Last night I noticed that the watch band on my Fit Bit watch was only holding on by a thread. When I contacted the company, they asked me to send a picture of the watch. I used my NEW phone to do that. BLOCKS are on, I was successful in taking the picture, but NOT in sending the photo to them.

In the past few weeks I have been reminded about a couple of things. Deepak Chopra shared that the greatest gift he could give to the world was to show up as himself. I realized that is what I have been trying to do. Whatever the situation, I help when I can and try to be open to learning. I also recently learned that as important as it is to forgive others, it is even MORE IMPORTANT TO FORGIVE YOURSELF.

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