Random Acts of "Kindness"

Archive for May, 2020

RAPHAEL

Many years ago I got in the habit of starting the day with spiritual readings — Queen Of Angels and the Bible. I open both books randomly. If I open the bible to a section that is often repeated , I might only read a tiny part. I dislike reading about the battles. This morning I opened Queen Of Angels to FROM HUMAN LOVE TO DIVINE LOVE. Then I opened the Bible to Tobit11:9 Sight Restored. I seldom open to Tobit so I read not only that chapter but included the following RAPHAEL REVEALS HIS IDENTITY.

Many years ago I attended a Mind Body Spirit Expo in which an artist and author gave a workshop on angels. At the end of the workshop I saw an angel , wings outspread on the back wall. I was amazed. It is unusual for me to see images but it is a gift that rarely occurs. I mentioned to the artist that she left one of her angels behind. She gave me a rendition of Raphael which I had framed and hangs over my husband’s side of the bed. Thinking back I might have received the print when he was recovering from Colin cancer.

Yesterday I braved the elements and went shopping at Wal-Mart. I missed senior hours but the line hadn’t started yet. My list was lengthy. The last time I was in the store, my knees were yelling so badly I had to find a place to sit. This time I made it through without knees yelling. They started when cart was unloaded to the car. Thankfully I didn’t need meat — there was no chicken, pork or beef. Some ground meat but not much.

I wish I could report that I hurried, stuck to the list and quickly finished my shopping. WRONG! Hurry is no longer in my wheel house. Snail slow pace, penguin wobble is more like it. I did refer to my list just to refresh my memory. I did find a pair of no memory foam men’s shoes but no slippers. I did find a silk bunch of poppies and daisies to put in a vase.

There are a few chefs that I enjoy watching. One of my favorites is Jacques Pepin. I don’t know if I have ever made any of his recipes but I own a couple of his cook books. I now have another one. Passing a bin, my eyes saw Grandfather’s Lessons in the Kitchen With Shorey. It not only contains recipes but also line drawings and notes from his granddaughter. This morning I opened to a note on bread. My husband LOVED his bread. The weather is getting warmer. I enjoy reading cookbooks. I’m sure I will enjoy reading this one. I might even cook something.

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BRIDGE

Sadly the daily news reports the number of new deaths caused by the virus. The numbers continue to grow as do the reports of small funerals and people passing alone. I might have finally come to grips with the fact that I wasn’t present when my husband passed. When we crossed the bridge from the wound center to the emergency room, I felt my husband left. He didn’t speak in the hours that we waited in the emergency room. Was he asleep? Was his spirit already leaving? I’ll never know the answer to those questions.
And does it really matter? Both his son and daughter kept vigil. My son told me that he was glad I wasn’t there.

I’ve written that I’m extremely fortunate that I have interactions with the other side. My husband sent me a message the morning that he had passed. I was too upset to realize it at first. My colored pens were missing. I looked, and looked and LOOKED without success. I finally opened a box that contained pens I hadn’t used in a while. The box contained something even more important. It had a message from my husband that accompanied a butterfly wrapped in a red silk pouch.. This represents a: Life, b: endurance, c: hope, d: and change.

I don’t remember how many days passed before I realized that he had sent me a message. I wasn’t expecting him to die. My children were. His health and vitality diminished every day. I was praying that God would heal him and He did. Just not in the way I had expected.

This thought ramble will publish after my anniversary of beginning to write Wandering With Spirit. I am EXTREMELY LUCKY. Days, months pass for many who have lost loved ones without any interaction. Thankfully a day or two might pass before I’m aware of “their help.” My husband has joined my “team.” The “team” is composed of my mother, brother and father. My husband has joined them and just possibly leading the way. I don’t know how many of my other relatives and friends are involved from time to time. And I would be ungrateful if I didn’t include the dogs and cats that are probably there too.

I have to admit that I am EXSTREMELY DISPLEASED with myself. I have gained weight and can not seem to lose it. I have lost my ability to walk for a mile. Although I have committed to reversing these problems, I’m not quickly seeing results. I’ve mentioned that I wrote about my introduction to “help” from the other side in my book JOURNEY WITH ME. (Sadly I’ve looked for it on line without success.)

The other day it fell onto the floor. I opened it to THE PROJECT. And laughed. In the Project, I replaced the hatch on our roof that had rotted leaving in rain and snow. I DO NOT HAVE CARPENTER ABILITIES. It took more than THREE DAYS and many trips to the lumber company before it was finished. In the story, I kept repeating that I was not like my father. I didn’t have his skill, his abilities. When I accomplished the task, it ended with “I’m like my father.” and I laughed.

My youngest daughter’s comment was “hugs from heaven” when I shared the story. My husband has confidence in me. I’M TRYING.

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JOB

I am EXTREMELY LUCKY. I am retired, live in my own house and thankfully have enough money to pay our bills. My health is reasonably good. Thankfully my children are also doing well. We have food to eat. We have a roof over our heads. In this time of a raging pandemic, as long as we are careful, stay home, wear masks and gloves when going out and wash hands and surfaces — with God’s help — we will be all right.

Sadly the places I like to wander to are closed. Both zoos in our city, the museums and the Botanic Garden are not open to visitors. Many of the stores are not open either. The sheriff in the county our campground is located in prefers we stay home. I attend Mass on television.

If our state opened up today I don’t know how ready I would be to wander. This disease is running rampant. The county our campground is located in — had NO DISEASE until last week. Then 7 cases arose from a meat packing plant. This disease is claiming the lives of many people. At first, they announced that the elderly were most at risk but it seems as time is going on that all ages are fair game.

My husband was 80 years young when he passed. He had emphysema and diabetes. He WOULD NOT have handled this virus well. Although I wasn’t at the hospital when he passed, my children where. Many people are passing from this virus without their loved ones being at their side.

And I guess that is the reason that I’m supposed to continue writing these thought rambles. I AM EXTREMELY LUCKY THAT FIRST, I KNOW THERE IS LIFE ON THE OTHER SIDE AND SECOND, THAT THEY ARE WELL. I don’t have any idea of what they do or what they look like but I know that I often receive “help” when I need it.

I self-published JOURNEY WITH ME in 2007. The date is printed in the book. I don’t know if it is still available on line. TO PAP, WITH LOVE IS. I had a reason to look recently.

I don’t know when I first started writing these thought rambles and published on Word Press. I think it is more than eight years ago. This month is my anniversary and evidently I’m supposed to continue.

EVERYONE NEEDS A JOB — EVIDENTLY THIS IS MINE.

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INDIA

When my father passed over, he had not learned how to use a computer. But he was very comfortable with a typewriter. It did not take him long to learn how to mess with my writing. My father was a very intelligent man. He was an inventor and a printer. It did not take him long to STOP computers from working or to stop the printer from printing. It did not take him long to figure out how to erase some of the words that I was writing. Soon after my father passed, I began a new learning. Some things I understood quickly, others took a MUCH LONGER TIME.

When my husband passed, he had the advantage of knowing how computers worked. Also cell phones. He has made his presence known in a way that is uniquely his. He stops the TV from working. He prevents my changing the channels. He is having a GRAND TIME MESSING with my text messages on the cell phone. Since my father did not include those things in his “help” I’m reasonably certain that it is my husband.

Then India started appearing on my cell phone when I was checking the weather. I was CONFUSED. It took a bit of time before I figured out where the 102 temperature was coming from. I knew it wasn’t in my back yard. Finally I learned it was in Rajasthan, India. Exactly where that city is India I have no idea. Why is it important? Another good question. The first time it occurred I thought since I was going shopping, it might be a message to wear a mask. I DID.

The temperature has popped up a few more times. I wasn’t planning on going out. I wasn’t planning on going shopping. After a few days, and help from the news paper, I realized that Ramadan was beginning. That is a month long religious celebration in which the people fast from sunrise to sundown. They don’t even drink water or smoke. They will have a harder time during this pandemic. Since I realized that — India only pops up when I’m going shopping.

As I was writing this thought ramble, the thought popped up that it might be interesting to see if there is really a message on the cell phone. It will be interesting to test out the theory.

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PURPOSE

I hate to admit it but my zest for life is hiding. I can easily sit in a chair or lay on the couch and watch the world go by. Many people are using this “stay at home time” to clean their house. Get rid of clutter. Catch up on projects. I AM NOT ONE OF THEM! I used to enjoy cooking — always looking for new recipes to make. That is another task that is on the side. I know it would be in my best interest to paint. I have the supplies but not the desire. A friend has counseled me to have patience with myself. This month will make 6 months since my husband passed. AND I VERY COMFORTABLY SIT HERE AND WATCHED THE WORLD GO BY!

I know that I want to spend time at the camper. I’m not afraid to stay out there by myself. Cleaning up the back yard, walking on the uneven terrain was challenging. It reminded me of the uneven terrain at the camper. Will I be able to walk out there? The last time I cleaned up the back yard, I took a cane. IT HELPED.

Staying home, not shopping uses up the stock of food in the house. The day finally came when I had to go to Wal-Mart. I have been putting off that shopping trip because of the virus. I made my list — it was lengthy. I wanted to go early, before the store got too crowded. I looked at the temperature on my phone and it registered 27. I forgot to check a detail and looked at the temperature again –102. WHAT? HOW? WHERE? I must admit it stopped my thinking IMMEDIATELY. DEFINITELY CAUGHT MY ATTENTION. Researched revealed it was the temperature in Rajasthan, India? That reading bubbled in my mind for a while. Then I remembered that I had thought of checking my temperature before I went to the store. It was normal. Was I being reminded to do that before I left?

I wore a mask and had plastic gloves on my hands. Thankfully there was NO LINE waiting to get into the store. There were long lines in the cashiers waiting to get out. I headed for pharmacy, shoes and dog food and the rest of the groceries. My cart was LOADED. My KNEES were YELLING. I WANTED TO SIT DOWN and luckily I found a chair. I took the opportunity to check the list on my phone and discovered one forgotten item. THANKFULLY there was no line waiting to check out. I told the cashier she was going to get a break because it would take me awhile. IT DID.

LESSON LEARNED: I have to regain my stamina if I wanted to SAFELY STAY BY MYSELF at the camper. Sitting and watching the world go by was NOT IN MY BEST INTEREST.

I have a collection of exercise DVD’S and picked a Classical Stretch to begin working on my body. The exercises were EASY but the next day my knees as well as my back hurt. DETERMINED — I was going to exercise anyway. The DVD player WOULD NOT WORK. My son managed to get it working but I decided to take the day off. On the other side — My MAN IS STILL LOOKING OUT FOR ME.

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