Random Acts of "Kindness"

Posts tagged ‘Alzheimer’s’

LIMBO

I have to admit that I KNOW that I am extremely BLESSED. I was reminded of that fact last weekend when the wife of a brother-in-law posted a note on Face Book on the anniversary of his passing. Since he passed on Leap Year, this was the first anniversary. Not only did she still miss him, but she wished he would stop by to say “hi.”

Thankfully since my father’s passing twenty five years ago, I’m aware of the “help” I receive from the other side on a regular basis. Since he hadn’t remembered me before he passed, he quickly sent me a sign that he was fine. I don’t access Face Book regularly. I have to admit that I haven’t been on Twitter or any of the others to date. Of course every day is a new day and who knows what tomorrow will bring.

This morning Face Book had a note on Alzheimer’s. I was reminded of my father’s journey and very grateful that in his slipping away he didn’t get stuck in the time of the fire. Thinking of him this morning and the sadness and loss he must have felt at the death of his wife and son, I’m so glad that he didn’t revisit those years. I’ve written about our journey in TO PAP, WITH LOVE. I’m SO GLAD that my husband was able to let me know that he was fine and continues to “help” me.

I have to admit that I’m having a hard time adjusting to my new life as a widow. I seem to have lost my purpose. Since I don’t give in easily I’m trying. Reality is that I can sit and watch the world go by and not feel bad about it. I NEVER spent much time during the day watching television. I can’t say the same now. I know that I have many things that I SHOULD DO — I just can’t motivate myself to do them.

I realized that the problems my body parts are giving me might be the cause of my lack of purpose. Because of our weather, my knees have become more of a problem as well as my right ankle. Dealing with the pain wears me out. It is easier to sit and not move.

I know that I need to lose weight, I just can’t inspire myself to do it. In my defense, I have committed to morning and evening exercise. Both are easy and don’t take long but I do them daily. I have committed to walking more than 3,000 steps a day. Most days I reach that number. Sometimes it is easy. I have committed to eating raw turmeric. It has been two weeks and I’m not sure if I notice a difference. I have committed to using Collagen daily. It has been a week and I’m not noticing an improvement but I’m not giving up yet.

Spring is coming. Maybe my energy will return.

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STILL LEARNING

I’m sure that I have mentioned that my father passed over to the other side 25 years ago. Because he had Alzheimer’s disease when he passed, he wanted me to know that he was okay and sent me a sign. He has been very active in my life since then. He also let another cat out of the bag. My mother passed when I was four. I’m sure she has been active in my life for many years but I was unaware. Looking back at some of the things that occurred when my father’s health declined, I can see the “help” of others. Some of that help was included in TO PAP WITH LOVE. I wrote about some of my early learning in JOURNEY WITH ME.

I need admit that I am STILL LEARNING. There is a new angel on the other side. He has learned from his elders and brought new knowledge to the adventure. It is only because I have spent so many years learning that I was receiving “help” that I’m aware of his actions. I recognizer “help” I when I’m shopping — I find something that is needed for a gift or a bargain — or something special on sale. I find someone tall to help me reach something or someone strong to move something into my car. People appear asking if they can help. I’m extremely grateful for all of the above. Sometimes I have a feeling who I can credit, sometimes it is a mystery.

Just being honest, I MISS MY HUSBAND. He was part of my life for more than 55 years. If I’m honest — I’m grateful he is on the other side because he was full of life, often up to no good. His last two months of inactivity was extremely hard for all of us. Continuing on in that state would have been extremely difficult for all of us.

And he is still in character — up to no good on the other side. For which I’m GRATEFUL EXCEPT when he puts blocks up on what I’m trying to do. You CAN NOT ARGUE WITH THEM, THEY WIN! The first time I was aware of his interaction, he blocked the TV from changing channels to the program I wanted to watch. When I finally gave in, went to accomplish a task that was on my to do list, when I returned home, the TV worked like it was supposed to. “My friends in high places” HAD NOT done this to me before. I knew it was him.

Today I was trying to share a photo of him riding a bike with our dog attached to the lead as they were going down the road. NOPE! NOT HAPPENING. Instead — my camera locked on a photo of my husband with Robin on his lap that floated down from somewhere to land on my purse. I COULD NOT get my camera to work like it was supposed to. Our oldest daughter suggested that it was Dad showing a new comer some of the “tricks of the trade.” Watch out world!

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LOVE THE TIMING

My father passed over more than 25 years ago. He is still very active in my life. My mother passed over when I was four, she still helps me. I wasn’t aware of her help until my father let the cat out of the bag. I think the story is in Journey With Me. Until my father was afflicted with Alzheimer’s disease, I thought I led a normal life. Since I have experienced their “help” on many occasions, I’m more aware.

Last Monday the large locust tree was removed from our back yard. The roots were strangling it and part of the tree had died. The loss of the tree meant that our west facing windows would be exposed to the sunshine ALL afternoon. In the summer those rooms would get very hot.

I like to shop at Aldi’s. I pick up the sales sheet for the next week when I’m in the store. I was very happy when I saw the announcement of energy saving curtains. Since we have an older home, our windows are LARGE. No matter the size of the curtains, I’m confident we can make them work. It will help keeping out the winter cold as well as the summer heat.

Also on the Aldi’s sale sheet was a pressure cooker. I have one at home and find it helpful. Having one at the camper would come in handy when the temperature climbs. Most of my cookbooks are at home. Thankfully I had just purchased a new one — Lose Weight — when we were home. I didn’t have time to investigate so it accompanied us to the camper. I have found a few recipes that I want to try.

Our oldest grandson, with his wife stopped by at the camper on their way to Colorado. They were able to spend a few relaxing days with us until they continued their trip. My radar must have been working. I spotted them fishing at the lake when I returned from town. His wife had caught 4 fish, he had caught 14. Thankfully they had returned the fish to the water so I didn’t have to clean them. Neither of them had the experience cleaning fish.

There is a new buffet out in the country — Pizza Ranch. I LOVE pizza, my husband DOES NOT! Plans were made with our youngest daughter’s family to try the ranch. I severely limited sodium that day to partake in PIZZA. Stopping in the bathroom, I was able to lend an arm to an elderly woman who was having trouble walking. I took her purse and lent her an arm until we reached her male companion.

I have said “Thank You” many times during the past few days.

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ROXIE

There is a line in a song from Wicked that describes Roxie perfectly: “Because I knew you, my life has been changed for the better.”

Roxie has been a crossing guard for 51 years. 41 of those years, she has guarded the crossing for our parish school and the neighborhood public school. This year they have given her the award for the Crossing Guard of the Year.

I would not have been aware of the award EXCEPT the actions of our NEW governor and NEW mayor have me intrigued. Normally we receive a newspaper every weekday morning. We skip the weekend just in case we are out of town. Because of the summer, I placed the paper on a vacation hold until October. But since we have a subscription, the paper is available on line.

I accessed the paper on Friday morning. Flipping through it page by page I was happy seeing Roxie stare back at me on page 4. She is retiring in June. She will be MISSED by the neighborhood.

Roxie was at her corner, crossing children when our kids went to school. She was at her corner crossing people when my father went to morning mass. They became good friends. When my fathers memory declined, she joined our team keeping an eye on him. She often pointed him in the right direction when he was confused. If my Dad went to an early mass at the Irish church, he went out of his way to tell her on his way back home.

Roxie was aware of a woman’s interest in my father. He sometimes joined her for coffee and listened to her problems. I don’t know if my father ever gave her money. When Dad went to day care, she asked if she could visit him there. I told her that wasn’t possible but offered to take my father to meet her for coffee. She didn’t take me up on that and dropped out of his life. Roxie gave me details that my father never would have.

After my Dad’s passing, I went to church every Friday for a couple of years. Mornings I stopped to chat with her before going to church.

Not only will the children miss her, but many other people in the neighborhood will miss her friendly face on the corner: “Because we knew you, our life has been changed for good.”

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ANOTHER YEAR

had told me that I would write thought rambles that would published every week for SEVEN (7) Years, I would have asked you what you were drinking or smoking. I’ll admit that this was NOT my idea. For some reason, “my friends in high places” think this is something that I need to do. If I don’t have something ready to publish every week my life becomes most interesting. My sleep is interrupted. Other things happen. It is much easier to write. I’ll admit that I “yell” for HELP. My premise is still the same. Each thought ramble should somehow show the interaction in my life with “spirit.”

Once upon a time I thought all rambles should be positive. There is enough happening in our world which is negative. Then I learned that admitting that my life is NOT always positive was a good thing and more accurate.

I remember how I protested and ignored the hints that I should write a blog. I only gave in when after many prods and messages, I applied to WordPress.com and my first thought for a name for my site was accepted. I don’t know how persistent I would have been. Thankfully that wasn’t a problem.

I remember at this time last year I thought I was celebrating five years. It was only after I divided the number of blogs by 5 did I discover my error. My father passed in 1995. My mother and brother passed in 1949. My mother was VERY GOOD at “helping.” I had no idea that my life was anything but normal. Looking back, I remember times when I might have received “help.” I definitely was aware of “help” when my father’s memory was declining. I wasn’t aware of the source, but many times I was led to a problem. My father let the cat out of the bag when he passed over. I am VERY GRATEFUL FOR THEIR HELP! I have no idea how many are involved. I also am aware that “help” often comes from my four footed friends.

I hope that my thought rambles help you. Maybe you are becoming more aware of “help” that you are receiving from the other side. At the very least, hopefully you are aware that although a loved one has died in body, their spirit is alive and well on the other side.

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AIR FRYER

I just have to share. I am having the BEST TIME! I have been cooking for more years than I care to count. I have developed many recipes that are staples in our house. Saying that, I must confess that I have gotten bored with many of the recipes I make. I have heard of two different cooking programs that two of our daughters are enrolled in. If I was working, IF I had more money, I might be tempted to enroll in one of the programs. They give you a list of meals that are available for the week. You pick out the meals that you want delivered, and the complete meal is delivered to your house. Most of the items needed are included with instructions for preparation.

So why am I writing such a glowing report on these programs? I looked at our daughter’s menu book and realized that although many of the meals looked DELICIOUS, my husband WOULD NOT want to eat any of them. Maybe it is a good thing that I don’t have extra money to spend.

On the other hand, I really like to cook. I just need inspiration. Enter a cookbook I found last summer for the slow cooker. Everything I made from the recipes was delicious. The slow cooker allows me to prepare the food in the morning when I have energy and finish it in the evening when the energy is gone.

Next appliance in our house was the instant pot — along with five (5) new cookbooks. Paging through the recipes, looking for ideas. MANY have been successful. The problems come when I don’t really read the ingredients or interpret the instructions. I have doubled ingredients or used apple cider vinegar instead of apple juice. I bought an Air Fryer in October. It sat in it’s box until March. I didn’t make anything in it until April. I made roasted chicken breast. It was fantastic! I was hooked. The appliance is easy to use and even easier to clean.

When we visited our daughter in Central Illinois, we visited Barnes and Noble. I came home with TWO (2) new cookbooks for the Instant Pot. One its the Healthy Air Fryer. It had a recipe for Blooming Onion. I remember having the onion when I was young at a joint that had peanut shells on the floor. It was delicious.

I made it last night. I had a couple of issues in the preparation but considering I was tired, I’m ready to make and eat it AGAIN. There are many more new recipes to try in my newer cook books. It is not one of the home chefs programs, doesn’t come delivered with ingredients ready to cook, but new ideas — hopefully ones my husband will enjoy. I promised I would only experiment with his tummy one night a week.

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SLEEP

When I was young, I seldom had trouble sleeping. As a matter of fact, I usually was able to sleep for 8 hours or more. Having children didn’t change my ability to sleep. I usually slept soundly, through the sounds of the city — fire engines, ambulances, police cars. I woke if my children needed me, but other than that, I slept on.

That is until my father was affected by Alzheimer’s disease. I became a light sleeper, waking at sounds in the household. I was still able to sleep through the street noise. Of course, working — needing to be on the road at 7:00 AM changed my ability to sleep late. Normal time to wake in the morning became 6.

Robin doesn’t realize that she is a dog. She thinks she is people — like us. We get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. She should be able to do the same. Sadly she has gotten into the habit of needing to go out almost every night. Of course we do too. I won’t write down how many times a night we get up. Robin needed to go out at 3:30 in the morning. She woke me up — I am under orders to wake my husband. He can go back to sleep. I have problems. And she did all of her business, no messing around. She has gotten older — she wanted to go back to sleep. BUT I DIDN’T.

I was still awake at 4:00. My right hamstring was hurting. I must have stressed it during the night. I tried the various rubs and pills I take to help me sleep. Next it was my left ankle itching. I tried various creams without success. It continued to itch. I took a couple of Motrin. It was 4:44 and I was still awake.

I laid with eyes closed on the bed and tried deep breathing. Hamstring felt better, ankle still itched. Then the corner of my left eye began itching. What do you do when an eye is itching? QUESTIONS! WHY? What is going on? Why can’t I go back to sleep?

Finally I was able to fall back to sleep. I stayed in bed until 7, an hour later than usual.

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NORMAL DAY

It started early, too early. Sadly I have not been able to sleep more than five, six hours each night. I used to be able to sleep for eight hours, wake up refreshed and ready to tackle the day. But that seems to be a long time ago. Why it changed, I don’t know. Some of it was because I listened for my father when he had Alzheimer’s disease but that was 25 years ago. Has it really been that long since I was able to sleep deeply? And time passes.

I usually open the Bible and Queen of Angels in the morning. The Bible opened to the introduction of Sirach,, Queen of Angels opened to the empty page after Angels as Playmates and Confidants. Interesting!

After spending many days in the country we were back in town. Besides laundry, our plans included shopping — the temperature was predicted to be in the 90’s for too many days. I needed supplies in the house so I could cook, AVOID the heat, the crowds, the stores.

First stop — Half Price Books. Our son had books to donate — we were happy to help. My husband found three books from an author he enjoys. I found FROM JUNK FOOD TO JOY FOOD by Joy Bauer. Hopefully the recipes will help my never ending battle to lose a few pounds. Paging through the book, I found many recipes that might help. I have a couple of her other books and have found the recipes flavorful.

On ward and up ward, store after store after store. We ended at Wal-Mart. I have found the super store carries many of the food supplies that I use. While I picked up food supplies, my husband wandered through electronics and automotive. Heading for the bathroom at the back of the store, I saw my husband talking to an employee. He was glad I came by so he could leave.

The woman he was talking to shared her recent experiences. Her house had been on fire and it took more than three months before they were able to get back inside. Water damage had caused mold, requiring massive repairs. My husband shared the information that I had been in a fire when I was young. And the conversation jumped from topic to topic. She was amazed at the number of similarities we shared. Not only the experience with fire, but also a parent with Alzheimer’s and my writing of three books and a blog. She planned to write but many of her notebooks had been destroyed by the fire.

When we returned home, I shared our day with our daughter. It was from her that I got the title of this thought ramble. She told me, “Mom, you had a “normal day”. Most of your days are like that. Thinking about it — she’s right.

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LITTLE THINGS

It is the littler things that slip through the cracks!

Sunday was the feast of Pentecost — the day the Holy Spirit descended on the disciples in the closed room and changed their lives. I find that feast significant because I realized that I am celebrating my six year anniversary of Wandering With Spirit this month. I can’t say that the blog has changed my life — but maybe it has. If I don’t write on a regular basis, if I don’t have something scheduled to publish every week, my life becomes more interesting than I want it to. More things go wrong. I’m REMINDED that I have work to do. Since I am always on the lookout for a writing idea, I might pay more attention to my life.

One of my favorite sayings is: “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him/Her your plans,” I had been at the Garden the day before. I had many steps on my pedometer. I planned to do NOTHING. The phone rang at 8:10. It was I Dot — we have a transponder that allows us to speed through the tollway gates at a decent speed, not wait in line forever. It was a present to my husband a few years ago. Now I was told it wasn’t working. We would be charged a cash car rate any time we went through. Camping season is starting. We use the tollways a lot. I learned where an office was. I learned that the battery might have run out. The number I received for our credit card didn’t match. I had no idea where the number came from. The one thing I did know — WE HAD TO GO FOR A DRIVE AND SOLVE THE PROBLEM. It was an easy solution. The battery on our transponder had run out, we just needed a new one.

On the way home, I suggested we stop at Wal-Mart so I could try on some shorts. I’ve noticed that my old ones are slipping down. It is most uncomfortable. I planned to order from a catalogue, but in order to do so, I needed to know my size. I tried on a smaller size and IT FIT. My husband suggested I buy a second swimsuit for back up. I like to exercise every weekday at the camper. If my suit is still wet, it is too cold to wear again. I saw a swimsuit that I thought might work. It has to be one piece, two pieces DON’T WORK for exercising. The hanger had my size so I tried it on. I looked at the tag on the swimsuit — it was the smaller size. HAPPY!

I picked up frozen pizzas at the store. My husband put them in the downstairs basement for me — saving my knees. I found them on Friday morning in the fridge — not the freezer. When I asked him — he said I told him to put them there???? Saturday, we went to a steakhouse to celebrate Mother’s day. He drove a different way, and said that was how he always goes. ????

One plus one didn’t add up. I was becoming concerned. On Sunday — Pentecost — I said a couple of prayers — asking God to “help” my husband. My father had Alzheimer’s disease. I REALLY DIDN’T WANT my husband to be affected. I decided that I wasn’t going to worry. Hands off — God was in charge.

Walking home from church — I noticed a shiny lilac object lying on the ground. I almost passed by. Then I backed up and took another look. It was a lilac sparkling gem in a hanging earring. It had a stopper to keep it from falling out of the ear. It reminded me that the night before, I had lost the backing on one of my crystal earrings but luckily the earring had not fallen out.

THANK YOU! Enough said.

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FREE FALL

I don’t know what happened! Normally I’m very careful with money. When I use plastic, I note the charge in one of our checkbooks. I keep a running total of our Visa charge so I’m not caught off guard when the bill comes in. That is my normal accounting practice. That is NOT what happened this month.

I forgot to note the charge for our rental car when we drove to Texas. I forgot to note the charges we incurred for part of the trip. When I finally figured out how to cover those expenses, when I phoned the credit card to make sure their balance agreed with my records, I learned that the bill was $300 higher than I expected. Evidently the money I spent on the first of June must have been free because I did not record it anywhere. I found the receipts. They were where I always keep them. Why they were filed but not recorded is anybody’s guess. It is beyond me.

I know we were planning the next day to go to Central Illinois to watch our grandchildren for a week. That doesn’t explain why I would have neglected to note the charges I incurred.

The only thing that I can think of to blame was that all the traveling caught up to me and I was exhausted. Of course, I knew I was tired. I thought I was being very careful. Of course now I know that I was wrong. Hopefully that absent mindedness won’t happen again. If that is what occurs with Alzheimer’s disease I want no part of it. That I was so careless is scary.

I don’t think there is any way I can recapture my youth, but I can try to allow more days in between travel to recuperate. I can continue with my plan to try to lose weight, exercise and regain the use of more of my body parts. Thankfully my lapse involved a credit card — not the debit card and a bank balance. I don’t like checks to bounce.

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