Random Acts of "Kindness"

Posts tagged ‘HEALTH’

STAY HOME

I DON’T WANT TO STAY HOME! Since October 31 I have been in training. Halloween brought inches of snow to our city. It melted and became ice. The ice covered the sidewalks and the alley making it hazardous for me to go out side. When it finally melted after about a week I totally enjoyed my freedom and went SHOPPING.

Another snowfall with more of the same results occurred in January, followed by more in February. Each snowfall brought more ice — more staying inside. It seemed that each storm brought more hazardous conditions for me, restricting my freedom.

Was I preparing for this pandemic? I wish I could say that I’m using my time well — cleaning the house — getting rid of the clutter. I’m not in the habit of telling tall tales. I HAVE NOT ACCOMPLISHED ANYTHING. Part of the reason I’m sure is grief for my husband’s passing. I seem to have no purpose in life. I KNOW I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT. I don’t have the desire to follow a restrictive eating program. Most of the time I’m eating healthy.

Because my weight is up — my knees are yelling. By suppertime, I have NO ENERGY to do anything. We have been restricted for almost a month. During that time I have possibly gone shopping once a week. My children are EXTREMELY unhappy when I wander outside. For many reasons — I live in Chicago, a hot spot for the virus. I’m in my seventies — more susceptible to catching the virus. Thankfully I don’t have Diabetes or Emphysema. My blood pressure is high enough to warrant medicine but not enough to be dangerous.

When I do venture out, I try to have a list that will cover all the stuff I need. I haven’t gone to Wal-Mart in over a month. I keep my shopping in stores that are close by. I try to go early, before the store gets busy. Thankfully the stores have been restocked. Most of the stuff I require is available. My daughter often asks me if what I needed was essential. Did I really need to go out into the scary world where the virus is waiting.

As the weather warms, I’m thinking of going out to the camper. They don’t have the virus out there and they REALLY DON’T WANT IT. Our governor is impressing us that we should keep driving to ESSENTISAL TRIPS. Going to the camper would not be essential except for my well being. All the buildings and stores are closed out there. Our camper is self sustaining with full bathroom facilities but I don’t want to run water until the chance of freezing is over.

Recently I read of a gentleman who passed at the age of one hundred. He was able to live by himself in his own home and DRIVE. Whatever age I reach, I want to have a quality of life and be able to be independent. My husband would have had a hard time dealing with this virus. He wouldn’t have minded having to stay in the house.

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BREAD CRUMBS

I don’t know if my life would be easier if I received messages from “my team” in written word or in voice. Since neither occurs in my life I felt like Hanzel and Grettle — searching for directions and reflecting back, look for the meaning.

Confused? Let me explain. When I went to replace my driver’s license on Tuesday, I decided to get gas in my car so I’d be ready to meet our daughter, pick up her dogs, so their family could go on Spring Break. I decided to go to the Costco up North. The lines for gas were shorter. While I was there, I stopped in the neighboring Aldis and picked up potatoes, onions, milk and some fresh vegetables. I noticed that they had a cane on special and a cart that was able to climb stairs. I looked at both items but left them on the shelf. Since we would have extra dogs in the house, I wanted to make sure our pantry was well stocked.

Leaving Aldis I decided to stop in Costco. I didn’t have trunk space for water but I decided to get a 5 LB bag of small potatoes. We discovered that they worked nicely for breakfast hash in the morning.

Arriving home I mentioned the cane and the cart to my son. He thought both would be a good purchase. The cart would be useable when I was in the country, I would have help getting the purchases from car into camper.

Wednesday — I remembered that I needed to get an emission test for the Escape and renew the license. There was a facility near Wal-Mart so I took advantage of a dry day — got the test for the car and license, picked up more supplies at Wal-Mart and returned to Aldis to get the cane, cart AND a deck bird feeder.
I decided to get a feeder for the deck rather than a stand alone because I thought it would be easier to fill.

Thursday — I met our daughter to pick up her dogs along with their dog food and leashes. Our yard is fenced in — I DID NOT PLAN to take them for a walk. Luna is a black Lab — young, full of energy, full of love. Her favorite toy is a ball which she has to take to bed with her. She is most insistent that you play with the ball with her — OVER AND OVER –ALL DAY. Tessa is a small King Charles spaniel. They are bred to be lap warmers and she takes her job very seriously.

Friday — Chicago’s mayor announced schools would be closed starting Tuesday because of the virus until April 7. Illinois Governor issued a message that people should stay in their homes. I went to Costco to pick up a couple of items that were on sale. The parking lot was impossible — too many cars. I waited and got a parking place. Costco was overrun with people. More than 50 people were in one lane waiting to check out. I decided I didn’t need anything that bad. I stopped in Trader Joe’s. Once again the parking lot was full but I waited and got a space. I HAVE NEVER SEEN THE SHELVES SO EMPTY — no milk, eggs, bread, crackers. Some fresh vegetables but not a lot. Most of the meat was gone.

I was VERY THANKFUL I HAD PICKED UP SUPPLIES ON TUESDAY AND WEDNESDAY.

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REBELLING AGAIN

REBELLING AGAIN

I don’t like not being able to go shopping. I DON’T like not being able to drive the car. I DON’T LIKE not being able to go outside. The first two months of this year has restricted my freedom. We have had snow storms that weren’t bad. BUT the snow melted, iced formed. I have had to stay in the house, the stairs were too slippery to go off the porch. I have been unable to drive — the alley was too icy to take the car out of the garage.

I look forward every year to the MIND, BODY, SPIRIT EXPO. I received the information announcing the March Expo. I found a couple of workshops I wanted to attend. Dressed, I assembled the stuff I wanted to take with me. I prepared to transfer my driver’s license into the wallet I was going to take. I COULDN’T FIND IT. I looked everywhere — every purse I might have used, every coat I might have warn. I looked in my car in case it fell out when I was taking out a credit card. My son helped me look with no success. I finally decided NOT to go to the Expo. I don’t know how I lost my drivers license. I don’t know how long I had driven without one. I just decided I wasn’t going to take a chance. My son offered to drive me but I knew he wouldn’t want to stay and turned down his offer.

Normally I return to the Expo for the second day on Sunday. I made an executive decision to stay home. I’m sure I would have found a few talks that would have interested me. Sunday was a bright, WARM, sunny day. I decided to spend time outside instead.

A friend told me it was easy to get a new license BUT NOT TO GO ON A MONDAY. She suggested that I take the documentation needed to get an ID. I had an official copy of my birth certificate. I had proof of my address. I needed proof of my social security card. I took a copy of the form I received for income tax from my husband’s company. It was a good thing I did. I NEEDED A SECOND PROOF OF ADDRESS. I also needed something with my signature on it.

I left home early in the morning on a Tuesday. I entered a door that I thought would lead me to the drivers area. I was wrong. I needed to exit and walk down a distance and climb more stairs. STAIRS ARE NOT MY FRIENDS. I asked if I could wander down the area and get were I needed to go. I had been in the building many times over the years. Maybe it was my age but I was told to go ahead. As I made my way to the driver’s license room a guide appeared to help me. When I told her the purpose of my errand she escorted me to the proper place. I DID NOT NEED TO WAIT IN LINE. The process was quick. I was out of the building before an hour had passed. I have a much better picture on this license than my last one. YEAH!

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LIMBO

I have to admit that I KNOW that I am extremely BLESSED. I was reminded of that fact last weekend when the wife of a brother-in-law posted a note on Face Book on the anniversary of his passing. Since he passed on Leap Year, this was the first anniversary. Not only did she still miss him, but she wished he would stop by to say “hi.”

Thankfully since my father’s passing twenty five years ago, I’m aware of the “help” I receive from the other side on a regular basis. Since he hadn’t remembered me before he passed, he quickly sent me a sign that he was fine. I don’t access Face Book regularly. I have to admit that I haven’t been on Twitter or any of the others to date. Of course every day is a new day and who knows what tomorrow will bring.

This morning Face Book had a note on Alzheimer’s. I was reminded of my father’s journey and very grateful that in his slipping away he didn’t get stuck in the time of the fire. Thinking of him this morning and the sadness and loss he must have felt at the death of his wife and son, I’m so glad that he didn’t revisit those years. I’ve written about our journey in TO PAP, WITH LOVE. I’m SO GLAD that my husband was able to let me know that he was fine and continues to “help” me.

I have to admit that I’m having a hard time adjusting to my new life as a widow. I seem to have lost my purpose. Since I don’t give in easily I’m trying. Reality is that I can sit and watch the world go by and not feel bad about it. I NEVER spent much time during the day watching television. I can’t say the same now. I know that I have many things that I SHOULD DO — I just can’t motivate myself to do them.

I realized that the problems my body parts are giving me might be the cause of my lack of purpose. Because of our weather, my knees have become more of a problem as well as my right ankle. Dealing with the pain wears me out. It is easier to sit and not move.

I know that I need to lose weight, I just can’t inspire myself to do it. In my defense, I have committed to morning and evening exercise. Both are easy and don’t take long but I do them daily. I have committed to walking more than 3,000 steps a day. Most days I reach that number. Sometimes it is easy. I have committed to eating raw turmeric. It has been two weeks and I’m not sure if I notice a difference. I have committed to using Collagen daily. It has been a week and I’m not noticing an improvement but I’m not giving up yet.

Spring is coming. Maybe my energy will return.

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INTERVENTION

February is a hard month for me. First — it is colder and cloudy. The excitement of the holidays is over. Usually the decorations for the season have been put away. This year is an exception for me. It still is extremely cloudy — the sun has taken a sabbatical. Our memory Christmas tree changed into an Angel–Valentine tree. It might morph into a Mardi Gras — Easter tree but I doubt it.

Add to that the sadness of my husbands passing. I spoke to a woman who has been a widow for 6 years. She shared that it still isn’t easier. On top of that it was my husbands 81’st birthday. Followed by the anniversary of my father’s passing and soon my father’s birthday. That explains why the Angel tree is still sharing its light in a darker room. I did Tai Chi next to it this morning.

I have noticed more presence or “help” from “my team” on holidays, anniversaries and birthdays. This week has been no exception. My note from my husband’s birthday said I had a contrary phone. My sharing of his photo was blocked. On the anniversary of my father’s passing I stopped at the grocery store for a needed item. A woman noticed my problems walking and told me she used to have the same problem. She has been taking raw turmeric twice a day, ground in her food processor and her knee problems have ended. The product was usually available at the store. On order, it was coming in the next day. Looking for something for lunch I also found lamb chops and petite steak at half price.

Our youngest daughter told me that a friend of hers was taking turmeric liquid twice a day available at Costco. Stopping at the store I found it on sale and put a box in my cart. One of the sample ladies I talk to on a regular basis mentioned that she tried the liquid turmeric but it gave her diarrhea. She also had experienced the same problems that I was having. She switched to a product designed to increase her collagen. She also is no longer having the knee problems. I put the liquid turmeric back and found the collagen powder.

I planned to go to the grocery store and buy fresh turmeric. When I arrived, the product had not come in. A woman heard me asking for it and told me of a store that carried it. It is now in my possession but I haven’t been taking it long enough to notice a difference. I’m going to give the turmeric a week or more to see if it helps before trying the collagen.

Today we have sunshine. The vitamin D pill that I normally take rolled off the floor and is lost somewhere. I guess I’ll have to go outside to get some fresh Vitamin D. I was interested in a cookbook that was advertised on the computer. Suddenly it was blocked, covered up by more advertisements and disappeared when I tried to get it back.

ENOUGH. My children say I need to walk more — I’m going outside to get some sunshine.

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FLOUNDERING

FLOUNDERING

Flounder — To struggle or plunge about awkwardly. Early in the morning the word came to me. First question — is it a word? Second – what does it mean? That accurately describes my feeling at the moment. Now I know that January has always brought depression in my life. Too many cold days, NO SUNSHINE — nothing to look forward to. Do I need to go on? This year is more difficult. I’m missing my mate. Even though it was cold last year — we had a date to meet friends for lunch, I was ordering his medicine, a date with the doctors was cancelled because it was 3 degrees and I didn’t think we should travel.

Thankfully it is not that cold YET. I know it is coming. Since the ice kept me in the house for a week in October, I’m not looking forward to cold, snow and ICE. `I hate to admit it but I HAVE NOT accomplished anything worthwhile in too long to mention. Television, magazines and stores are full of ideas to lose weight. It would not hurt me to lose a couple of pounds, okay maybe more than a couple but I don’t have the motivation. I DO NOT want to try any of the newest, hottest ways to lose weight nor do I want to try the old and proven. I have learned that I my body needs meat, vegan is not for me.

I planned to go the senior center for an art session and I did. I thought that it would be helpful to learn to draw. Sadly my hand was hurting on the day I went and drawing didn’t help it. It put my hand out of commission for a few days. My daughter asked me if I had fun and I honestly replied “no!”

I won’t bore you with the list of things I DID NOT WANT TO DO. Did that feeling pass? To be honest I don’t know. My stubborn spirit raised its head and I committed to activities that would help. I DID NOT GO CRAZY! No plans to “diet” or restrict my eating. No plans to use my time to organize the house. Instead I committed to two steps. First to walk more than 3,000 steps a day. Looking at my log, many days were under 2,000. Second: do Tai Chi every day. Of course, I also wanted to drink more water and get more sleep. I have been taking my blood pressure daily and the numbers were higher than I wanted.

A week has passed and I’m happy to acknowledge that I met both of my goals.

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CALENDAR

I have the habit of using two daily calendars too try to keep track of my life. Not that it is extremely busy or very active. First I don’t have a paying job — no timetable to go to work or come home. Second, our life is not that active. We don’t belong to clubs or organizations which require time commitment. Until my husband’s health required more appointments with the doctors, there was really no reason to have a calendar. Let alone two. Of course, I noted special dates for our children and grandchildren — vacations, school performances, etc.

One calendar — My Inner Reflections is from the Self Realization Fellowship — Lovely photos, Inspirational writings by Paramahansa Yogananda. I discovered the calendar years ago at a bookstore that is no longer in business. I write my daily activities, important events.

The second calendar changes over time. A few years ago, I noted the food I consumed on a daily basis, hoping to help my weight. I have expanded the calendar to make it more useful. Now I use the monthly dates to note Dr. Appointments, scheduled events, blog titles, etc. I have been a team player for many years — single will be an adjustment.

My husband was sick in September and October — the months I normally remember to acquire new calendars. I bought my nutritional calendar at the end of October before his health took a turn for the worse. I didn’t pay too much attention to it — I wanted a monthly page and individual dates with enough space to write down my food log. Since it is a calendar that I use daily, I paid attention to where I put it. When I started using it in January, I was happy to learn that each week has an inspirational quote and a place to note things you are grateful for.

I ordered my Inspirational calendar later — in November. When it arrived I stuck it somewhere for safe keeping. It was so safe I COULDN’T FIND IT. New Years Eve it was still hidden. I don’t know why I pulled it out from its hiding place. It was not someplace I would have expected to find it. I was very glad that it surfaced when it did.

Just recently I paid attention to the photo on the cover. A single swan is swimming on a calm lake with a mountain in the distance. Swans mate for life. The photo is very significant for this year in my life. I have become a single swan swimming in a reasonably calm lake — reflecting either sunrise or sunset in the colors of the mountains and lake.

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FRIEND’S PASSING

The call that I had been expecting finally came. As a matter of fact, as soon as I heard in early November, that Sally, 97 years young, had breast cancer that was invading her body, I had been praying that God would take her home. Before she passed, I learned that every 45 minutes they were giving her morphine for the pain. Four days before her 98th birthday He took her home. And my prayer changed to “thank You.”

I was at home, with a functioning car. The weather was good, I was able to drive out to the suburbs for her wake. On the way, my car signaled low tire pressure. We have a membership at Costco and I had been using their service for my tire pressure problems. I’ll admit that the constant reminder about tire pressure was getting very old. The young man discovered a nail in the ditch of my tire. The location of the nail made it possible to fix the tire. When I asked where I should go to have the nail removed, I learned that Costco could do it. I didn’t have the time but I knew an appointment was in my future.

I had looked up the location of the funeral parlor and wrote down the address and phone number. I was glad I had the information with me. I didn’t have trouble finding the street but finding the funeral parlor was another story. After I had driven back and forth three times without success, I dialed the number. I learned that I had been looking on the wrong side of the street. Thankfully although the lot was PACKED, an empty space was waiting for me.

Sally was from Ireland, and had 10 children. The funeral parlor was overflowing with visitors. I didn’t stay very long. Before leaving, I stopped in the office to thank them for the directions.

The weather on the morning of the funeral was sunshine and blue skies. I didn’t park in our church’s lot because I thought the lot would be overflowing with cars. I didn’t plan to travel to the cemetery.

I had gathered some of my husband’s food items to donate to the open pantry that our church supports. Finding the location to drop them off became its own challenge. The space where the donations were stored was occupied by the Nativity. Asking a few people didn’t give me the answer. Thankfully I found the space in a room where the lecturers gather.

Sally’s sendoff was fitting for an Irish lass. They had arranged for bag pipes to play before and after the Mass. The priest who said the Mass had received very good stories from the family. He remembered Sally from the years he had served at our church in the 80″s. The songs were well chosen, the man who sang the Ave Maria had a beautiful voice.

Two days later, the frames for my bifocal glasses broke. Thankfully they had a similar frame at the eye doctor’s office and were able to fix them that evening. The broken frames reminded me of all of my husbands glasses and I was able to donate them at Costco when I arrived to have my tire fixed.

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RECOGNIZING SPIRIT

RECOGNIZING SPIRIT

Loss is a hard feeling to deal with. Especially when the person who has crossed over is very close to your heart. I am EXTREMEMLY LUCKY. When my father passed over more than twenty years ago, he sent me a message that he remembered me. I was alert enough at that time to recognize it. And that has made all the difference. Now I’ll admit that my mother has probably been active in my life for many years. But she was skilled in her activities. My father is skilled too, BUT IT WAS IMPORTANT TO HIM THAT HE LET ME KNOW HE WAS FINE.

I wrote once that I’ve crossed a bridge. Over the years I have received many lessons from my “spirit team.” I have detailed many of those experiences in my book JOURNEY WITH ME. In fact I was reminded of the book recently when I sent an e-mail to my family, giving them homework — to read a chapter a day or a week –to remind them how spirit interacts with our lives. Their grief was very visible.

Thankfully my husband also sent me a message after he passed. Thankfully he is often with me at home and when I am out and about. I recently crossed paths with a gentleman who is 102. He was shopping at the store, not using a cane or a motorized cart. He wants to live to be 105. That same day I met a woman who is taking care of her handicapped husband. They watched a movie together and he laughed. He thanked her. He was glad that he could still laugh. We talked for a short while. During the conversation she told me she saw her deceased father sitting in the back of a car. I saw the spirit of a dog who had recently passed run through our house but I don’t normally see things. I don’t “see” things when I meditate either. My daughter confirmed that I’m not visual.

I like to have presents under the tree for my family for Christmas. They don’t need to be large or expensive, just a little surprise. I wanted a present for our son. Nothing called his name when I was looking for a gift. He had already announced that neither of us needed anything. And he is right! That doesn’t solve my problem! Until my husband went shopping with me and I found the perfect present. It would have been perfect for my husband if he was still alive. Hopefully it will be perfect for my son.

When my husband was alive, shopping was NOT his favorite activity. Especially when I wanted to visit many stores. I don’t know if his feeling for shopping has changed but I love RECOGNIZING HIS HELP.

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HONORING THE MAN

It is with great sadness that I share the news that my husband of more than 55 years has passed over to the other side. We learned in September that he had pneumonia, then the mass in his lung was small cell cancer. He survived time in the hospital, kept his humor and quality of life. Chemo and having to wear oxygen began to take its toll. He did not like to wear the oxygen. He did not want to be a burden on me. He did not like the sore throat. He did not like that it hurt to eat. His favorite food became oatmeal with lots of butter, potato soup with lots of butter and chicken noodle soup with LOTS OF BUTTER A friend shared that her sister with cancer liked POTATO SOUP WITH LOTS OF BUTTER.

We applied for and received a handicapped parking placard. We submitted a form for handicapped parking. HE DID NOT NEED EITHER.

Although his body was responding to the chemo, masses were shrinking in his lungs, other parts of his body said this is enough. He passed over in the hospital at 1:18 in the morning. Both my son and daughter were there. They are having trouble sleeping in the one o’clock hour. Nights can be difficult. It depends on the track m y mind wants to take.

At first I was ANGRY. “Why did you leave me?” Then I realized I was being selfish. He DID NOT WANT to be handicapped. HE DID NOT WANT to be a burden on me. HE DID NOT WANT TO have to wear oxygen.

These thoughts and more in the same vein have helped during this time of “PROCESS.” Many things have been delayed. I’m not going to list them. I have been aware of “help” from the other side for many years. Now my husband has joined the team. Is he adding to the merriment. It is hard to tell. The Saturday when our daughter was heading back home, her car wouldn’t start. Although she used her car for trips to the hospital with out any troubles, she NEEDED A NEW BATTERY.

Cell phones and computers have a life of their own. Slowly, very slowly, I’m taking care of business. I’m dotting the i’s and crossing the “t’s”. And tomorrow will be another day.

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