Random Acts of "Kindness"

Posts tagged ‘FRIENDS’

BEFUDDLED AGAIN

I admitted that I finally realized that I walk to a different drummer. Over the last 25 years, since my father passed, I learned that I have crossed a bridge — I DON’T WANT TO GO BACK. Remembering when I was young, I wanted to be normal. The scars from the fire were very prominent and I had a hard time making friends. I don’t know if I ever was normal, I know I’m not now. AND I’M EXTREMEMLY GRATEFUL.

Over the last 25 years, I have received “help” from “my friends in high places.” I have become better at acknowledging their “help.” The second book I wrote JOURNEY WITH ME contains 29 stories of the lessons I’d learned. I have been writing this blog for over 5 years. Well over 400 thought rambles, each describing a “new” experience.

Why am I going on and on about this? Good question. This time I have an answer. January 6, Epiphany,
“Little Christmas” I planned to meet my youngest daughter at the airport to transfer her dogs who had kept us company for a week. I phoned the airline, actually spoke to a person because the computer could not find the flight. Disconnecting from the call, I checked to make sure the cell phone had kept the phone number. A message crossed the screen: “Jesus calling. I am Your Lord! Trust me. ” There were a few more words to finish the sentence but they disappeared quickly and I COULD NOT FIND THEM AGAIN. “AMAZED. BEWILDERED. DUMBFOUNDED.” There are no words to express my feelings. HOW? WHY? WHAT?

To say that it made an impression on me is an understatement. Since my husband joined my team at the end of October, my life has become even more interesting. Evidently he learned that I REALLY need “their help.” And he is up to the job. As much as I’m trying to be strong, I’m floundering.

Yesterday, I discovered a black and white cutout of a picture of my husband and our dog resting on his chest, on top of a purse. ?? Where did it come from? I was happy to find it.

Today from a stack of CD’s, I randomly picked “Alone In IZ World.” Brought back good memories. My first trip to Hawaii and Kawai was with my husband. We went to Pearl Harbor. His oldest brother was on one of the ships, thankfully surviving the attack. At 4:00 AM a rooster woke me to greet the sun. My husband got sea sick sitting in a restaurant watching the waves. I discovered IZ’s world. His songs have greeted me each time I have returned to Hawaii. The album contains “Over The Rainbow.” It also contains “In this Life I was Loved By you.” Popcorn tears! The album ends with IZ’s reflection on how important oxygen is to life and his embarrassment in connection to the tank.

THANK YOU!

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FRIEND’S PASSING

The call that I had been expecting finally came. As a matter of fact, as soon as I heard in early November, that Sally, 97 years young, had breast cancer that was invading her body, I had been praying that God would take her home. Before she passed, I learned that every 45 minutes they were giving her morphine for the pain. Four days before her 98th birthday He took her home. And my prayer changed to “thank You.”

I was at home, with a functioning car. The weather was good, I was able to drive out to the suburbs for her wake. On the way, my car signaled low tire pressure. We have a membership at Costco and I had been using their service for my tire pressure problems. I’ll admit that the constant reminder about tire pressure was getting very old. The young man discovered a nail in the ditch of my tire. The location of the nail made it possible to fix the tire. When I asked where I should go to have the nail removed, I learned that Costco could do it. I didn’t have the time but I knew an appointment was in my future.

I had looked up the location of the funeral parlor and wrote down the address and phone number. I was glad I had the information with me. I didn’t have trouble finding the street but finding the funeral parlor was another story. After I had driven back and forth three times without success, I dialed the number. I learned that I had been looking on the wrong side of the street. Thankfully although the lot was PACKED, an empty space was waiting for me.

Sally was from Ireland, and had 10 children. The funeral parlor was overflowing with visitors. I didn’t stay very long. Before leaving, I stopped in the office to thank them for the directions.

The weather on the morning of the funeral was sunshine and blue skies. I didn’t park in our church’s lot because I thought the lot would be overflowing with cars. I didn’t plan to travel to the cemetery.

I had gathered some of my husband’s food items to donate to the open pantry that our church supports. Finding the location to drop them off became its own challenge. The space where the donations were stored was occupied by the Nativity. Asking a few people didn’t give me the answer. Thankfully I found the space in a room where the lecturers gather.

Sally’s sendoff was fitting for an Irish lass. They had arranged for bag pipes to play before and after the Mass. The priest who said the Mass had received very good stories from the family. He remembered Sally from the years he had served at our church in the 80″s. The songs were well chosen, the man who sang the Ave Maria had a beautiful voice.

Two days later, the frames for my bifocal glasses broke. Thankfully they had a similar frame at the eye doctor’s office and were able to fix them that evening. The broken frames reminded me of all of my husbands glasses and I was able to donate them at Costco when I arrived to have my tire fixed.

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LITTLE BY LITTLE

Celebrating the first holidays without the man of the house has been difficult. I will acknowledge that I am extremely LUCKY. I know I have “friends in high places” that “help” me with my life. I also know that my husband has joined the team. He “helped” me with my Christmas shopping. The present I found for my son was right on target. My son was VERY HAPPY when he saw the charger that works not only with electronic equipment, it also starts a car.

Before Christmas I traveled to our daughter’s house in Central Illinois. I took Robin with me. She cried when we stopped at the first rest stop. It was finally open after being closed for over a year for remodeling. I don’t know if she was tired of riding in the car, really had to go or hoping we would find “her man.” I stopped in to use the facilities and talked to the woman in charge. She had a major problem and I didn’t know how to help her. Her sister had lived with her for many years and recently passed. She had a blood clot in her lungs and was on a high rate of oxygen. She died without a will, insurance or having added her sister to her bank account. Her sister was responsible for paying the bills without the resources to do so. I suggested she try to get help from the minister at her church or the elected officials in her town. I was EXTREMELY glad that I wasn’t in her shoes.

As is my practice I stopped at Wal-Mart . While I was waiting in line to pay for my purchases, a veteran wearing a Desert Storm hat got behind me. As is also my practice — I started talking to him — I thanked him for his service and must have mentioned that my husband had recently passed over. He shared that he lost his wife eight years ago. “You know she is with you”, I replied. “Yes”, he replied. “She turns off the television regularly on me”. I really hoped “my team” hadn’t overheard that. When we returned home, I was watching the public station in Indiana. John Legend was soon talking on the program (??) Without my help the television changed to a regular channel, a program awarding individuals for their world wide service. I told the story to a friend of mine and she replied “You know who was ALWAYS changing the channels for you.” And she was right. My husband often watched more than one program at a time. “Thanks, honey.”

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RECOGNIZING SPIRIT

RECOGNIZING SPIRIT

Loss is a hard feeling to deal with. Especially when the person who has crossed over is very close to your heart. I am EXTREMEMLY LUCKY. When my father passed over more than twenty years ago, he sent me a message that he remembered me. I was alert enough at that time to recognize it. And that has made all the difference. Now I’ll admit that my mother has probably been active in my life for many years. But she was skilled in her activities. My father is skilled too, BUT IT WAS IMPORTANT TO HIM THAT HE LET ME KNOW HE WAS FINE.

I wrote once that I’ve crossed a bridge. Over the years I have received many lessons from my “spirit team.” I have detailed many of those experiences in my book JOURNEY WITH ME. In fact I was reminded of the book recently when I sent an e-mail to my family, giving them homework — to read a chapter a day or a week –to remind them how spirit interacts with our lives. Their grief was very visible.

Thankfully my husband also sent me a message after he passed. Thankfully he is often with me at home and when I am out and about. I recently crossed paths with a gentleman who is 102. He was shopping at the store, not using a cane or a motorized cart. He wants to live to be 105. That same day I met a woman who is taking care of her handicapped husband. They watched a movie together and he laughed. He thanked her. He was glad that he could still laugh. We talked for a short while. During the conversation she told me she saw her deceased father sitting in the back of a car. I saw the spirit of a dog who had recently passed run through our house but I don’t normally see things. I don’t “see” things when I meditate either. My daughter confirmed that I’m not visual.

I like to have presents under the tree for my family for Christmas. They don’t need to be large or expensive, just a little surprise. I wanted a present for our son. Nothing called his name when I was looking for a gift. He had already announced that neither of us needed anything. And he is right! That doesn’t solve my problem! Until my husband went shopping with me and I found the perfect present. It would have been perfect for my husband if he was still alive. Hopefully it will be perfect for my son.

When my husband was alive, shopping was NOT his favorite activity. Especially when I wanted to visit many stores. I don’t know if his feeling for shopping has changed but I love RECOGNIZING HIS HELP.

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LEARNING THE ROPES — 11-20-2019

I planned to write a new thought ramble and thought of the title Learning The Ropes. I saw that it had already been used. So I read it. It deserves to be reprinted. The fun I had when my friend passed deserves to be shared again. My husband has joined my team on the other side. My husband was involved with ham radios. My CD player WOULD NOT play a CD I chose. When I was able to listen to it, I understood why. That same day I was NOT ABLE to change the TV to a program I wanted to watch. Giving up, I went out to fax a copy of his death certificate. Returning home — I was able to change the TV to that station. I won’t bore you with all the FUN I’m having. This Saturday we are gathering to celebrate my husband’s life with music, stories and fun. More than four days since he has passed, he has learned the ropes. LET THE FUN BEGIN.
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Mischief is afoot. I would raise the white flag but I know it won’t do any good. It took me awhile to become aware that someone was in training. But I’m a bit slow at times. Christmas is coming and my life will be busy. Not necessarily with parties and celebrations but baking and decorating the house seems to take more time and effort than it used to. I refuse to admit that it is because I’m heavier and older. I can’t do anything about being older but wouldn’t you think I’d be able to do something about the weight? I needed a few ideas to write a ramble about so they would publish during the time I was occupied with Christmas. My friends in high places are happy to oblige.

Anyway back to training. My friend Dorothy passed on Tuesday. My favorite knife DISAPPEARED on Wednesday morning. I have searched and searched without success. I remember putting it in its holder on the sink — GONE! I think life was relatively calm from Wednesday to Sunday but then my memory isn’t what it used to be. I know I should keep notes of the happening in my life but I don’t unless my attention is drawn to a happening — like my knife disappearing.

Saturday we celebrated Dorothy’s life. Sunday got my attention. Did she have time to rest, visit with those on the other side and was now ready to expand her knowledge. I don’t know but Sunday got my attention. It started with my husband’s poker game floating face down in the toilet. When did it go for a swim? Good question. I went to Mass and let the rest of the household sleep. I walked and it started to rain as I entered church. The gospel was the same as the reading at the service on Saturday. Our music director was late and a cantor with an excellent voice lead us in song.

On the home front, my husband’s day was interesting. Vitamins and pills had a life of their own — falling on the floor and spreading around the desk. He mentioned other happenings but I don’t remember. We decided we should take life easy and go out for breakfast. The restaurant was so packed we left for another place. Everybody must have been out for breakfast, finding a parking spot at the restaurants was impossible. I won’t bore you with the search just let me say five restaurants later we finally stopped to eat. Thankfully the food was very good.

Returning home, I wanted a cup of tea. Eight boxes of tea cascaded out of the cabinet all over the floor. I often switch to herbal teas early in the day and I have an assortment. I was reminded of all the flavors as I picked up the boxes and tried to get them settled again. Sometimes one or two boxes will fall — as if someone is helping me with the choice — but eight??

I wrote CELEBRATING A LIFE. Evidently some of my writing didn’t pass — the computer refused to save it. I deleted and changed a few thoughts. The ramble was saved!

I wanted to print something off of the computer and used the computer in my husband’s office. Trouble, trouble again. The computer had issues, when it finally let me access my e-mails — they were all gone. I was reminded of the fun my family experienced after my father passed and was learning how to mess with electronics the day of his wake. Our son and our daughter’s boyfriend each had different computer issues on that day.

Four days to visit and rest — that is about right.

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FITTING

FITTING

I had to pull out my laptop to take care of a couple of challenges. Since the computer was out, I decided to look for something to republish. This article from last year is still so very true. I have been trying to clear a space in the small room off our bedroom so my husband could sit safely in a chair when he is sleeping. It is easier for him to breath sitting up.

Oh the treasures I have found. Hidden in a black bag was a beautiful knitted project, lovely blue shaded yarn, with safety pins attached to each. loop. ??? I had NO IDEA. What was I making? Thankfully I also found a picture nearby with instructions. WHY DID I STOP? Good questions. No answers.

I’m sure there are more challenges ahead.
ABSENT MINDED

I have noticed that my memory isn’t as good as it was when I was younger. Either the cracks are getting bigger or more stuff is falling through. I’m in trouble when it comes to money — paying bills, remembering to write down debit charges, etc. I panicked recently when I discovered that I forgot to deduct our insurance from the checkbook. Luckily we had the money in there to cover it.

Balancing the checkbook is always a chore. I have money hidden to cover small mistakes. Recently I had to use some of it and the new balance didn’t reflect the subtraction. I didn’t believe the new amount. Thankfully this month the balance is more in line to what I thought it was.

I’m sure I don’t need to mention all the times I lose my glasses or my cell phone. When I misplace money it is even worse. I write myself notes to help me remember where I have put stuff. Especially if it is something I don’t use regularly. I always remember the old place not the new one.

Thankfully I have “friends in high places.” I don’t depend on them but I’ll yell for “help” if I feel the need.
And often they help when asked or when they know I need it.

Yesterday — I planned to heat water in the tea kettle for tea. The burner wouldn’t light. As a matter of fact, NONE of the burners on the stove would light. I asked my husband to work magic and fix it. Before he did, I asked my husband if he wanted to go out for breakfast. We don’t go out often but it just felt like something to do. I even decided to put on a long dress. I seldom wear a skirt or a dress not to mention a long one. I even put on earrings. Most unusual!

We went out for breakfast and on the way to a hardware store our youngest daughter phoned. “Happy anniversary to you” she sang. WHAT? She was right! It was our wedding anniversary. Both my husband and I had forgotten.

Dressed up — out for breakfast — someone in high places had remembered and HELPED.

Just a note: That evening ALL of the burners on the stove lit.

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LOVE THE TIMING

My father passed over more than 25 years ago. He is still very active in my life. My mother passed over when I was four, she still helps me. I wasn’t aware of her help until my father let the cat out of the bag. I think the story is in Journey With Me. Until my father was afflicted with Alzheimer’s disease, I thought I led a normal life. Since I have experienced their “help” on many occasions, I’m more aware.

Last Monday the large locust tree was removed from our back yard. The roots were strangling it and part of the tree had died. The loss of the tree meant that our west facing windows would be exposed to the sunshine ALL afternoon. In the summer those rooms would get very hot.

I like to shop at Aldi’s. I pick up the sales sheet for the next week when I’m in the store. I was very happy when I saw the announcement of energy saving curtains. Since we have an older home, our windows are LARGE. No matter the size of the curtains, I’m confident we can make them work. It will help keeping out the winter cold as well as the summer heat.

Also on the Aldi’s sale sheet was a pressure cooker. I have one at home and find it helpful. Having one at the camper would come in handy when the temperature climbs. Most of my cookbooks are at home. Thankfully I had just purchased a new one — Lose Weight — when we were home. I didn’t have time to investigate so it accompanied us to the camper. I have found a few recipes that I want to try.

Our oldest grandson, with his wife stopped by at the camper on their way to Colorado. They were able to spend a few relaxing days with us until they continued their trip. My radar must have been working. I spotted them fishing at the lake when I returned from town. His wife had caught 4 fish, he had caught 14. Thankfully they had returned the fish to the water so I didn’t have to clean them. Neither of them had the experience cleaning fish.

There is a new buffet out in the country — Pizza Ranch. I LOVE pizza, my husband DOES NOT! Plans were made with our youngest daughter’s family to try the ranch. I severely limited sodium that day to partake in PIZZA. Stopping in the bathroom, I was able to lend an arm to an elderly woman who was having trouble walking. I took her purse and lent her an arm until we reached her male companion.

I have said “Thank You” many times during the past few days.

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MISSING YOU

My husband is Robin’s main person. Although my son and I are important in her life, my husband is alpha. He seldom leaves for a long time without her. Except last week HE DID!

My husband spent five days with our grandson at his house so he could attend a daytime camp. His sister was at a week camp close to our campground. Because of her migraines, her mother felt she should
be close by in case she was needed. Although my husband felt I should go with him so I could cook, I declined. I stayed at the campground instead and kept our daughter company.

After my husband left, Robin took up a post by the camper door, watching for him. If she went out on the deck, she took up her post by the gate. Watching, waiting. EVERY DAY.

Robin is very particular about her food. Since my husband wasn’t home, I decided to try to make spareribs and sauerkraut in the slow cooker. The aroma must have been delicious. Robin decided she wasn’t going to eat her food until she received some of the stuff I had been cooking. When I finished eating, I pulled off some of the meat, sprinkled it on her food and shared. I had enough for two days of meals. Then I froze enough for two more meals.

I was under orders. My husband DID NOT WANT me to go out into the garden unsupervised. He was concerned that I would have trouble. For a change, I listened. I found a mystery book — one of my favorite authors and spent the time reading. I also made it a point to take Robin for a car ride every night.

Slowly, day by day the five days passed. My husband decided he would drive back on Friday night. Our grandson decided he would ride back with him.

Words can NOT describe the happiness that Robin experienced when she saw my husband’s car. Faster than the speed of light she ran. Around and around, back and forth, she sped. Then they went for a car ride together.

After my husband returned, our daughter shared a program she heard about dogs on the news. It concerned separation anxiety — many of the dogs experienced a time when their favorite person DID NOT RETURN. Robin is a rescue, she might have had a favorite person NOT return.

NOTE: I reheated one of the sparerib dinners from the freezer. Robin DID NOT eat her own food until I shared!

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MOMENT IN TIME

Walking Robin in the early morning in the country, I had a unusual experience. The morning was cool, I needed a jacket. I felt like I had stepped back in time to a morning when our children were small. I was trying to cook breakfast on a two burner propane stove outside of our apache pop up camper in the country. I wasn’t skilled. It took me a long time to make breakfast. Just for a short moment I felt I was there.

Later in the day, I had a similar experience. Years later, I was preparing to can green beans or tomatoes. Standing at the stove, pressure cannier ready, jars ready for filling. Caps and tops in hot water. I still have ALL my equipment — pressure canneries, jars, caps. I’m not quite ready to get rid of them.

I have read of people who have had similar experiences. Normally these are not a part of my life. Remembering, I often think of various experiences but I don’t feel as if I am experiencing them again. One was unusual. Two — I can’t comment. I think I was puzzled but not scared.

I NEVER felt my age, to be honest, I didn’t remember how old I was. Sadly time has changed that. I don’t know if it is because of the trouble I’m having with my joints and other body parts. I don’t if it because of my weight. Many articles are currently appearing on the benefits of a vegetarian diet. I’m happy for those who are able to do that. I like most vegetables and enjoy some vegetarian dishes. I have learned that my body NEEDS MEAT! After my children were born, I requested Italian Beef sandwiches.

I recently fell. Thankfully I didn’t break anything. I might have stressed certain body parts. They are making their presence known. We had a small, personal table on our deck. I was placing a dogs collar on it when it collapsed, putting me off balance. After a few forward steps, I collapsed, face down. I didn’t break anything. THANK YOU, LORD.

Since my fall I’m craving beef. Hamburger, steak — doesn’t matter. Evidently there is something in the beef that my body NEEDS. I have had pork, chicken, cheese and beans. Plenty of protein. Doesn’t matter. I’m reminded of the commercial “Where’s the Beef”.

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THANK YOU ARLENE

I have to admit that I was undecided. I watch my sodium but when we eat out, I have NO control over the salt that is added for seasoning. I try the best I can to make smart decisions. Eating out caused my weight to go up 3 lbs. The temperature increased and the weight hung on. And MY KNEES HURT!

I’ve read that one pound of weight puts 4 pounds of pressure on the knees. In my lifetime I have tried so many diets that promised a lot and did not deliver. If I’m honest, I have to admit that when I’m stressed, I nibble. I try to stay with food that is healthy, but that doesn’t always happen.

I was trying to figure out what to do about my weight. Of course more exercise would help but my body parts are not helping right now. I decided that watching my food intake would be a good decision. But what should I do? Everything I thought of didn’t seem right. I DIDN’T WANT to start a diet.

In the midst of this turmoil, my husband’s sister phoned. She is older. She SUCCESSFULLY LOST more than 30 lbs in less than a year. Thankfully health problems didn’t cause the loss. She ate more vegetables and fruit. She walked more and stopped eating after 6.00 PM. She restricted her beverage after 6 to ice water.

Sounded good to me. Except I can’t stop eating after 6. But I decided to WATCH sodium, try to get more protein and walk more. Several health articles have emphasized additional protein for senior citizens. The amount of protein suggested is 100gm.

Restricting sodium is not EASY. If I have shredded wheat for breakfast, no sodium is in the cereal. Cheese is high in protein but it is also high in sodium. Thankfully Swiss cheese is lower but is still high in protein. Bread is very high in sodium, but some crackers are low and the new sandwich thins are also lower than bread.

Drinking more water helped. I LOST the three pounds of water weight. Just in time because the temperature heated up. We had a week of temperatures that were in the high 90’s.

Sadly once the water weight was gone, weight loss stopped.

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