Random Acts of "Kindness"

GROUNDHOG WINTER

The theme of Groundhog Day, the movie, was that the events of the day kept repeating itself. This winter is doing the same thing. First snow comes into the area — a few flakes or a couple of inches. Sometimes a broom is all that is needed, sometimes you need more muscle — a snow blower. For an added bonus, the lake provides a few more inches. Then the temperature drops — zero or below. Then the cycle repeats itself — day after day, week after week. We haven’t had many days above freezing. We haven’t had many days without snow. The snow hills are growing. No end in site. We are trying to break the record — third coldest winter in years.

My health seems to be doing the same thing — Groundhog Day congestion. First the flu — then the congestion, it finally gets better, the cough eases, — the temperature drops. It snows — I sweep off the stairs, the temperature drops; I start sneezing and make chicken noodle soup. The cough worsens.

I finally drove the car by myself — first time in four weeks. My husband has been doing the driving, heats up the car, and drops me off in front of the store. Then if the wind is really blowing, picks me up in front again. I don’t mind being spoiled. BUT I WANT TO BE HEALTHY! Which is why every once in a while I push my limits. Go shopping before the next snow storm.

Since the first of the year I have been tracking the food I eat in the hope of losing a pound or two. I track my exercise too.. I should have tracked the days it snowed and the temperatures but I didn’t. I’m hoping that this WINTER WILL SOON END — THAT I WILL BE HEALTHY.

I took advantage of a day that promised the high twenties and went downtown via the train. It was still very windy. I really didn’t have a choice. I needed to drop off a paper at City Hall in order to get the senior tax freeze. One year I mailed it and they never received it.

I walked right in, didn’t need to wait and walked out just as quickly. I decided to take a bus to the new Italian Eatily — a two story, 15 restaurant and bars that specialized in Italian food and cookware which opened in our city in late December. This was the first chance I had to investigate. An elderly woman was leaving when I did. She had the same mission — to drop off rather than mail the important paper. She knew the buses and offered suggestions — where to catch the bus and which one to take.

Downtown was really windy. I wondered if I shouldn’t just go home but with our weather, I didn’t know when I would be able to return. I was lucky — a bus was at the corner when I reached it. I asked if it was the one I needed and learned it was. The bus didn’t stop at Ohio but the driver alerted me so I wouldn’t have a long walk. I found Eatily right away, only a two block walk.

I wandered both floors, had some soup and bread at a restaurant, treated myself to two chocolate covered oranges for desert and headed for home. I was between two train stops. I knew exactly where one was, the other, although closer might have been harder to find. Luckily the wind had diminished and it was a pleasant walk as long as I didn’t dally. I stopped for coffee, caught the train and just made it home before the snow started.

The next day, our newspaper had an article on Eatily — it covered most of the restaurants and the options available. That night, the evening news featured a gentleman who was celebrating his 111 birthday. He still drives his own car.

AMAZED

I’M READY TO BE WELL! I’m tired of this cough, being sick! I’m tired of this cold weather and snow and Ice! I’m ready to be out and about if only this cough would go away.

I read that people who were active — outside, exposed to the elements would be healthier. Until I came down with the flu, I walked Robin, our dog, a couple of times a day. I was outside shoveling snow or sweeping the snow off of the stairs. Taking precautions, I got a flu shot in October. I GOT SICK ANYWAY! I was told that the flu would have been worse without the shot.

Okay so I’m grousing and grumbling. I’m still coughing like a fool. The weather forecast is more of the same — snow then falling temperatures, another cold snap, well below zero. The cold is descending to the warmer areas of the United States — 33 degrees in Miami. Their houses are not equipped for this type of cold — neither are their bodies.

So why am I amazed? Stuck in the house, staying on the second floor because it is warmer and I need for this cough to leave — I’ve been going through stuff. Revisiting some of my past life — raising children, working, square dancing, writing, storytelling. SO MUCH STUFF and so much that I’m not ready to part with. OKAY, SO I’M A PACK RAT.

So why am I amazed? Last night I found an old e-mail — sent to one of my daughters more than ten years ago. In it, I wrote that a friend told me my words would be going around the world. Of course, I didn’t necessarily believe her but then I received an e-mail from a distant cousin in Sweden, wanting to read To Pap, with Love. My words going around the world.

Now I’m sharing thought rambles with you. And I have learned that through the internet they reach to Canada, London and points beyond. My friend 10 years ago was right — my words are reaching around the world. AND I’M AMAZED!

Look at all the fun I’m having stuck inside — I can’t wait till I’m free to wander again!

LYING LOW

I’ve mentioned that I even though I received a flu shot, I got the flu. I was told that it is often gone in seven days. I’m on day 10 and it is getting better but it is not gone. I’ve been very strict with myself. I love to be busy, to be out and running about. I DISLIKE BEING SICK! Because I want this congestion to leave NOW, I’ve been spending most of my time — head down, feet up — lying on the bed, sleeping through daytime television.

After a while, it is hard to maintain a positive attitude. Will this ever end? Will I get my energy back? When can I go out? And my chin heads for the ground and scraps. But I have “friends in high places” that love to “help.” Recently I saw Tony Benefit on television who is still singing at the age of 87. He stated that he had no plans to retire. I watched Queen Latifah. Betty White was a guest. She is 92 and is still working and enjoying it. An elder painter, Ken Delmar was also a guest. He tried for years to get his painting accepted. Recently he discovered that the colors on paper towels were brilliant. His paper towel paintings are selling for $1800 to $10,000. His recipe for success — ” you can’t chase it, relax, do your thing and pray.”

I have a way to go before I hit my eighties. This year my age seems very old but then I don’t feel well. But if I get my weight down and my energy up , the world will be my oyster. I’m thinking positive.

So I’m using my down time well, writing a few thought rambles. Subject matter given to me by “my friends.” I don’t know if that means my life will be extremely busy when I get my energy back. I have started exercising — just stretches and yoga. Then I take a nap — I earned it.

GENETICS

When I think of genetics, I think of chromosomes and DNA. Who did I get my hair color from? Who in my family had blue eyes? We inherit many more things from our ancestors than hair color, height, and skin color. In recent years we have learned that being susceptible to cancer or heart disease is also in our genes.

I knew that one of my uncles was a talented painter, and then learned that a relative in Sweden also was an accomplished painter. I received a chapter of a book written by my great-grandfather. He was also interested in healing herbs. When I published my first book, I learned that a cousin (who I’ve never met) is an accomplished writer. More than health and talents are inherited.

The years pass, and I admitted to myself that I walk to a different drummer. When I was young, anyone with psychic talents was suspected of being unbalanced or touched in the head. I don’t know what talents I had when I was young. If I heard voices in my head, I probably told them to shut up! It wasn’t safe to be different. As a result, “my friends” in high places nor God speak to me.

As the years passed, I shared with my family the unusual things that happen to me. Being psychic is no longer unsafe. My children have different talents that they have accepted. I’m not sure which side of my family they come from — father, mother — maybe both. And is it important?

So why am I going on and on about this? I asked my daughter if I could share a conversation she had with God. He woke her up from a sound sleep to speak to her.

She was going through a rough spell. Words were flying back and forth, hurtful words that she couldn’t shed. The rough water continued for days, spilled into the next week. She felt like she was drowning. She could not start each day fresh. She was carrying all the darts and arrows and pain with her. They were not only affecting her mood but also her health. After many days in turmoil, in the middle of the night she was awakened by God. The conversation lasted a few minutes. She shared the important part — He told her that when He forgives, it is all forgiven, all washed away, nothing remains. She needs to follow His example. She needs to forgive the same way — completely!

I will admit that as far as I can remember I haven’t had a conversation with God. I know it has happened to others, just not to me — yet. But I thought her conversation needed to be shared. How often do you forgive but hold onto a piece to remember? Can we forgive completely? My daughter’s conversation with God helped her. Will it help you?

Happy Valentines day!

ROBIN

I read that the members of our family are specially chosen for us by God. That is something I believe. I also think that is not limited to the members of our family. I think it includes our friends and pets.

In November our son took a day off from work. My husband invited him to go to Paws and look for a dog to adopt. I was invited too but I was already involved in something and didn’t want to stop. They found two dogs but couldn’t bring them home because I wasn’t there to agree.

I woke in the early morning, trying to accept the idea of not one but two new dogs. I looked at all the changes that they would bring to my life. Would I be able to exercise? Would we be able to travel? The questions kept me awake for hours. When my husband got up, he had changed his mind. Spending all that time and not coming home with a dog, he was done. I pressed the issue. I wanted to meet the dogs that had kept me a wake half the night.

We had talked about getting an older dog. Robin was only a year old. Although we have had Shepherds, an Irish Setter and a Labrador, I wanted a smaller dog, one I could pick up if necessary. Robin was only 25 lbs., slight of built with a border collie body. I hoped for a dog that didn’t need to use its voice a lot.

Even though she was young, she seemed ideal. She immediately made herself at home. And we quickly learned the excitement and challenges we were in for. She runs like the wind, turns on a dime and has energy to spare. Her second trip into the back yard, I saw her trying to squeeze through the fence into our neighbors yard. That would never do! Luckily we had a plastic fence we could attach to the wrought iron fence to stop her plans.

She must have springs in her legs because she jumps from the floor onto the top of our dining room table with no hesitation. She also jumps into our laps to give hugs or wants to snuggle. We are using fences again to block off the stairs or pantry. Toys are all over the house again. I try not to leave anything edible within her reach when we leave the house. She shares her energy with all of us. My husband might be her favorite, but whenever she comes in from a walk, she has to check that we are all present and accounted for.

Her curiosity is unlimited. I would compare her to a nosy neighbor, who has to know everything that is going on. What am I cooking? What is in the bag? Where are we going?

Last night I left my dinner unattended and she finished it for me. This morning I opened the curtains so she could watch my son leave for work. When I came back downstairs I saw her sitting on top of the radiator, watching the world go by. That will never do! The radiator is covered, but I’m afraid with her speed she will break the window and get hurt. The three things I have tried have not succeeded but I’m not giving up.

The learning and challenges continue. She has only been with us less than three months. She starts obedience training tonight with my husband and son. I would love to go but have not recovered from the flu.

CHILD’S FAITH

I’m always on the look out for new books that might be enjoyable to read. I LOVE a good mystery, I’m not really into romance or science fiction. I won’t mention how many cookbooks are in my collection and it is still growing. Self-help is one of my interests and of course — spiritual books — angels, heaven.

Recently a bargain book at the store — When God Winks At You — caught my eye, written by Squire Rushnell. It was published in 2006 so it wasn’t a new book. I know that I’m more aware of help from the other side but I’m always ready for new ideas.

I read a story told by Tim Conway of how he went to a carnival when he was a boy and tried to win a cross at a booth. Each chance cost a dime. He only had three dimes, tried but didn’t win. Leaving the carnival, he found a dime. He stopped and prayed that he would win the cross before giving the dime to the man. He pulled up the duck with the number one which won the cross. The story said that he kept the cross until he went to college. Who knows, even though he is now rich and famous, he might still have it today.

Of course, I enjoy watching Tim Conway. I liked the story so I shared it with my daughter in Florida. She in turn told me a story which I had forgotten. When her son was four, he was really into Poke-E-Mon. I had no idea what that was when he asked for it for Christmas. He was at a store that had a Poke-E-Mon prize in the vending machine. He asked his mom if he could have it. She told him that he could only take one try, if he didn’t win, that was it. She said he dropped to his knees, bowed his head and prayed. Got up, put the money in the machine and won the prize. She was amazed.

And I’m sure that she told me the story. But time has passed, he is twenty now and I forgot the story. But last Christmas we were in China town and I saw a Poke-E-Mon bank. Guess what my grandson got for Christmas.

EXERCISING “ME”

It has been my practice to write in advance, to have thought rambles scheduled to publish in the future. Today I’m going to actually publish a ramble on the day that it is written. I decided to share my realization that at least for the moment, I’m on my list. WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT? Have I confused you?

This question was in one of my self-help books — write down 10 people who are important to you. Then the next question — where on the list where you? I wasn’t there at all. I have been a caregiver most of my life — my father, my husband, my children, my father with Alzheimer disease, now my grandchildren. When I go shopping their needs are on my mind. Many times I come home and realize that I had forgotten to buy the items that I needed.

Last year I did Haylie Pomroy’s Fast Metabolism food plan. I didn’t lose the 20 pounds in 28 days that was advertised on the book’s cover. But I lost 10, most of it in my belly — I no longer looked 7 months pregnant. I wish I could say I kept all the pounds off but life interfered, specifically corn on the cob which wasn’t allowed. At least the weight didn’t go back onto only my belly. Although I planned to go back on the plan, life interfered. Beginning the new year — same resolution — get rid of the weight.

What I remembered from the food plan is that it was easy and I felt GREAT. I’m not expecting to lose 20 pounds in 28 days. In other words, I’m not planning to end it in 28 days. This time I’m planning the week’s menu’s ahead. I’m looking to see what I can make that my family will eat so I don’t have to do double cooking. I’m going shopping with “me” high on the list. Although I’m following the food plan for the most part, I’m being more lenient. Chocolate covered cherries — YUM! But only a couple.

Soon after the New Year I got the flu so my weight was already down. I wasn’t expecting to lose anything the first week, but I did. Three pounds to be exact. I still have a horrible cough, and the weather has alternated between snow and zero. This is one of the coldest winters in many years. The weather personnel refer to it as groundhog days from the movie where the day kept repeating itself.

I haven’t been able to take Robin for a walk each day; I’m staying home, trying to get rid of the cough. Because of the congestion and my breathing, I haven’t been able to do aerobics — just yoga and stretching. Nothing that taxes my breathing. My weight is still DOWN!

With all of these negatives, the good news is that for the moment –I’M ON MY LIST — maybe at the top!

BROADSIDED

I’m sure that I’ve mentioned many times that I make plans and God laughs. He/She or SHim did it again. Not only laughed but pulled the rug out from under my feet. Where were all my friends? Were they helping God or applauding the plan? Good Question — no answer.

We planned to spend the New Year with our younger daughter and her family in Central Illinois. That is until we learned a snow storm was headed into our area — forecast 10 inches of snow or more. We could have driven down before the storm hit, but then we would need to drive back home. Not only dealing with the long highway that is surrounded by open fields — blowing and drifting snow, possibly black ice but then we would have had to deal with the snow at home. We changed our plans and stayed home. And it snowed — and Snowed — and SNOWED! Hercules, the storm was aptly named. We even got to experience lake effect snow. More than 43 hours of snow the weather man proclaimed. Finally, FINALLY we saw blue skies — no snow for a day. Then the snow returned. Admittedly only another inch or two but still. The yard stick in the back yard measured more than 14 inches of white stuff. We were lucky, the snow was not heavy. I did my part, sweeping off the steps, pushing the shovel down the path in the back yard. My husband used our snow blower for our benefit and the benefit of our neighbors.

We took advantage of the blue skies and replenished food supplies in our house. My freezer is well stocked but I run out of bread, milk, fresh vegetables etc. The weather forecast promised freezing temperatures — a Polar Vortex. The weatherman was correct — the thermometer dropped below zero and stayed there. FOR DAYS. Worst weather in many years.

I stayed in the house. No choice. Walking to the store which is only a block a way on Sunday, I was exhausted. I wanted a coffee shop where I could sit down and rest. I wanted to spot a friend who had a car who could drive me home. I felt ancient — no energy. I actually sat on a bench and rested a bit before walking back home.

I had planned to start a new eating plan and lose some weight. I had already started exercising again. I put my plans on hold. No energy, my body hurt — I went to bed and stayed there. And stayed there. The news mentioned that flu was spreading. But I had a flu shot. Bad cold? It wasn’t getting better. I slept, woke and drank some tea and slept some more. My body hurt. Four days into this, I heard the symptoms of flu on the TV. No energy, felt like you have been hit by a bus, high fever, body aches etc. Treat within 48 hours. Well I’d had it for more than 48 hours, 96 to be exact.

I finally went to the Minute Clinic. I wanted evacuation orders for the bug. I learned it normally lasts seven days, I was in day five. The prescribed medication wouldn’t help me. But my lungs were clear, my temperature normal. I was in good shape.

I was advised to go home and rest for another week. My resistance is compromised and I could catch anything.

PRESENTS

I was asked today what my favorite Christmas gift was by one of my daughters. I had to admit that my many gifts were not material. I started listing my favorites for this Christmas.

The first has to be that my husband’s health is improving. Although we had a health scare, it didn’t require a hospital stay and his cough is improving. Our children that are in driving distance of our home were able to join us for the celebration of Christmas — even if we celebrated on different days.

The medical personnel we encountered had my husband’s health in mind. They took their time, ran the tests and tried to investigate to the best of their abilities. Sometimes answers were not immediately apparent.

When we went to the doctor’s office. I was at the right place at the right time to share my experience with a woman who was grieving not only a son who passed many years ago but more recently a dog. I hope the stories I shared brightened her day.

Our dog is becoming more comfortable in our home. When our youngest daughter arrived with her family and two dogs — Robin met them at the door and was ready to defend her home and us. She didn’t care if Maggie, a golden retriever, was bigger. She was ready to defend us. It took a bit of time before peace reigned. Robin forgot that she had met them at Thanksgiving. They are still not friends but good playmates. What surprised me was that Robin was ready to defend me. Hopefully we will never have the need for her to defend me when we are out on a walk but it is nice to know that even though she is timid, she is ready to defend her family.

It didn’t feel like Christmas to me, in fact, on Christmas Eve I had thought about not going to church on Christmas morn. My husband decided to stay home but I changed my mind and was very glad that I did. First off, I reminded myself that it was Christ’s birthday, time to say thank you. The music was beautiful, two violinists joined the piano or organ music. The cantor had a beautiful voice. Of course, the church was beautiful. The Mass was celebrated by an older, retired priest who has a touch of dementia. I always enjoy his thoughts and homilies. He focuses on what is important to me. I have a lot to be thankful for.

I was surprised to see an older acquaintance whose health is declining. I have known the family since our youngest daughter was in kindergarten. He was sitting in a corner which was hidden from my view. At communion I helped him walk back to his seat. I also shared my blog address with his granddaughter. It might come in handy at a future date.

Christmas isn’t about material things. It is about spirit and the gifts that come from God. Those are much more valuable than worldly possessions. Hopefully my sharing of my stories brings some brightness to your day.

DETOUR

I make plans, if not plans, at least I have a general idea of what it is I want to accomplish. Often GOD LAUGHS! And it happened AGAIN. We were celebrating an early Christmas on Saturday, it was Friday and I wasn’t ready. The house wasn’t completely decorated, the cookies weren’t made and I planned to do some precooking.

My husband had a bad cough, and I was concerned. I didn’t like his color, his cough nor his lack of energy. He has emphysema. Colds have often become pneumonia in the past. Friday morning, I signed him up at the minute clinic a short distance from the house. The nurse practitioner listened to his lungs and told him he needed a chest x-ray. She didn’t have the necessary equipment but a clinic a short drive from the house did.

Three hours later, chest x-ray and EKG taken, the nurse practitioner was concerned. She thought his cough might have been caused by his heart. She wanted him to go the hospital — Emergency to be exact, via ambulance. I didn’t think we needed an ambulance.

Neither my husband nor I had breakfast, not even a cup of coffee. I planned to stop for food on the way. We were advised that tests might be delayed if we stopped to eat. We drove directly to the hospital, no stops along the way.

Long story short — my husband was going to sign himself out of the hospital at 4:00 in the afternoon. Another EKG had been run. The emergency room doctor was concerned about the level of oxygen in his blood. He had a oxygen treatment. She was able to contact his primary care doctor and learned that the oxygen levels in his blood were always on the low side. He was released with the promise that if he had any chest pains he would return to the hospital immediately.

Five PM and we were finally returning home. I had been on the phone with our children throughout the day. I was TIRED and hungry. I hadn’t accomplished one thing that was on my to do list.

Did we really need cookies? Saturday our family gathered at our home. Except for the family in Florida, we were all present — adults, children and dogs. What better gift for Christmas? We didn’t miss the cookies.

Monday, we visited our primary doctor. My husbands breathing was better — no wheezing. I didn’t accompany him into the office, but remained in the waiting room talking to a woman who was grieving the passing of her son a few years before. More recently she had also lost a loved dog. I told stories from my life — “help from my friends in high places.”

I don’t know why we received a DETOUR or ROADBLOCK on Friday. I don’t know why I was prevented from baking or cooking. I don’t know if there was something seriously wrong with my husband.
We are home. His color is better and so is his cough. The cookies still aren’t made.

On Friday, I kept reminding myself that God was in charge and so He/She is.

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