Random Acts of "Kindness"

THE TUB

May 27, 2017

We have an old fashioned claw foot tub in our upstairs bathroom. Over the years I have enjoyed many hours soaking in it. Sadly I haven’t been able to get in it for years. How many? I really have no idea. I don’t know if I was able to enjoy a bath when I had the ulcer on my leg. I know since it has healed I haven’t been in it. Then there is my weight, and the inner tube where my tummy used to be. Lets not forget that my knees are now a problem — if I get down on the floor, getting back up is a challenge.

So I’m sure you are wondering why I’m writing a thought ramble on the tub. It was a combination of circumstances. First I was home alone and my knees were hurting. I thought it would be an excellent idea to soak in the tub. Evidently I wasn’t thinking. I decided that I would climb in fully dressed and see if I could get myself back out.

I DIDN’T take our house phone or my cell phone in to the bathroom with me. I knew my husband would probably call and would expect me to answer the phone. OOPS! I had accidentally washed his cell phone and he needed to get the new one connected. He was at the store working on that issue.

I used our grandchildren’s step to help me get into the tub and sat down with a bang. I was VERY comfortable sitting in the DRY TUB. But I had to get out. I tried pushing my body up using my feet. My slipper socks prevented my feet from getting traction. No problem, I took the socks off. But it didn’t help. I slowly raised my back up to the top of the tub but not high enough to help. Next brilliant idea! I threw my leg over the side. Now What? — leg dangling over the side didn’t help. Thankfully I was able to get the leg back into the tub.

I was VERY COMFORTABLE resting with my back against the back of the tub. I could have sat there until someone came home. But if the phone rang, I couldn’t answer it and someone would be worried. I would get a royal bawling out. My next brilliant idea actually worked. I pulled the little step into the tub. Lifted my butt onto it and got out of the tub. I might actually try that again — later. I would like to loose a few more pounds first or get more flexibility into my legs.

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AFRICAN VIOLET

May 20, 2017

My father’s mother used to grow beautiful African violets. I didn’t pay attention to the care she gave them, I just liked the flowers — purple, white, doubles, pink. I bought an African violet when we first moved into our house and it promptly died. Not giving up easily — I bought another. Then another — and so on and so on. It didn’t take many plants before I learned that I didn’t have a green thumb. I didn’t know if I watered them too much or not enough. I learned that they needed to be watered from the roots — which I did. They had access to light, not bright sunshine but filtered light. Didn’t matter — they picked up their leaves and left.

Since I have had so much success with African violets, I am AMAZED that a plant that was given to me more than twenty years ago is still not only alive but thriving. I DON’T FERTILIZE IT, weeks go by when I forget to water it. It still blooms every spring. Sometimes it overgrows its pot, a portion of it wilts and the rest recovers.

This plant was given to me by MUSCLES. I think I have written at least one thought ramble about him, and referred to him in others. Muscles was a VERY DARK, elderly African American man. He adopted our family when our children were small. He took them to many Cub games and planted a garden in our back yard. His tomato plants were taller than our garage. Our back yard didn’t get much sun, so we didn’t get many tomatoes. He planted two apple trees and a lilac bush at our camper. Sadly because of the tornado, only the lilac bush is surviving and blooming.

So why do I mention this now. Because I remembered to water the plant today and it looks fantastic. More often than not I forget to water it and NEVER feed it. The only reason it is surviving is that thankfully someone unseen is taking care of it. I’ll admit that when I see the plant, I think of Muscles and the difference he made in our lives.

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ON THE WIND

May 13, 2017

I often send up a request for HELP, or PATIENCE or ANSWERS. I don’t want to convey the idea that I ALWAYS receive an answer or a message or the ability to accomplish the task at hand. BUT the reality of the situation is that if I pay ATTENTION, stay open to answers — whatever the query was for is often answered. My recent requests were for HELP — weight loss and a solution to ease the stiffness in my body. All the messages I receive are not answers to my queries, sometimes it is something I have to know.

I recently had deep cleaning done to my teeth. I have to admit that I wasn’t overjoyed when I was told to come back in four weeks for a check up. I thought I was DONE. I wanted to be DONE! The next day I had an email that emphasized the importance of the health of your teeth — how important it was — linked to a healthy heart. I think someone was trying to tell me something. I GOT THE MESSAGE! I will make another appointment, longer out than four weeks because of travel plans but before summer actually starts.

Although the scale finally moved, it didn’t move that far and now it is stuck. The recent dampness and cool weather has made my legs feel like wood — they don’t want to move. I really don’t know if I have received the answers to my queries. BUT walking Robin I ran into a neighbor of mine. She has lost a substantial bit of weight but has also stopped. She remarked that she has to count calories, stay under 3,000 a day.

While I write down the food I have been eating, I haven’t been entering the details into any of the programs that give me a calorie count. Although I continue to exercise, I haven’t been doing any of the programs that are more intense or that raise my heart rate. If I want more results, I have to become more active, enter the details of my diet and increase my exercise.

Recently I shopped at Costco. a person was sampling ECODRINK — a multivitamin in a liquid form. Now I take a combination of vitamins and herbs that seem to help my body. The stiffness in new. Recently I also had an extremely bad cramp in my right leg. The person sampling the product said not only prevented leg cramps, it helped the hair and the nails. Now I take Magnesium on a daily basis but it wasn’t enough on this particular evening. I don’t know if this drink will be better for me than what I am currently doing but I am willing to try. Will it help the stiffness in my body? I don’t know. And I won’t know unless I try it. The drink replaces five of my morning mix of nine pills.

I have a month’s supply. I’ll have to pay ATTENTION and try to keep records to have an idea if it has helped: leg cramps, breaking nails, stiffness in my body. Is this drink an answer?

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DENTIST

May 6, 2017

It should come as no surprise that I’m not a regular at the doctor’s or dentist’s office. Sadly I have been without a dentist for many years when my last one retired because of cancer. I didn’t have any problems with my teeth and didn’t look for a new one. Then while eating a hamburger, I thought a rock had been included in the meat. Actually, it was a filling. I had lost a portion of a tooth which made inhaling interesting. I didn’t even want to think about drinking or eating. Thankfully a friend had returned from Florida and shared the name of her dentist. Thankfully the dentist was able to fit me in that evening — remaining after closing time. After he fixed my tooth, I made another appointment. I figured I might need more work done and I knew my teeth would need cleaning.

I was right. I don’t know the last time my teeth were cleaned — how many years had passed. The hygienist used interesting equipment to take the x-rays, which showed that my teeth required more than a surface cleaning. I needed DEEP CLEANING. The top right side was cleaned that day and I made another appointment. She warned me that the bottom would be harder.

The day of the appointment my horoscope told me that “Its important to know that, for whatever reason, people notice you today.” The comics made me laugh. Dennis told a friend that his parents use the house phone to find their cell phone. I used ours for that purpose the day before. Garfield noticed that his owner didn’t know how to use the phone. Our friend had just commented that her brother didn’t answer the phone when his words weren’t working. (It reminded me of when my father had Alzheimer’s.) Marmaduke provide a laugh when he stole the leg bone from a dinosaur.

I arrived early at the dentist’s office and they were running late. A son had accompanied his aging parents. His father had a motorized cart and a walker. His mother was still receiving treatment. I found a current Times magazine for the Dad, and National Geographic’s for myself. The issue was dedicated to the Vikings. I was amazed when I learned that it had been discovered that men were not the only warriors. Woman’s bones had been discovered with high ranking weapons and gaming pieces. Indicating that they had played an important role in the conquests.

I used that information during the cleaning. I’m half Swedish and kept reminding myself that I’m woman and I’m strong. Most of it wasn’t too bad, except for the part that wasn’t numb, under the gum line. I still have one lower part to go.

I have straws in the house for our grandchildren. They came in very handy when anything I tried to drink didn’t make it into my mouth.

The next morning the bible reading made me laugh. Abraham popped up. I was reminded of God’s promise to him. Abraham pops up regularly in my life. Exactly what it means, I don’t know and haven’t tried to figure it out.

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NOTES

April 29, 2017

Two phones calls arrived on Sunday. The first was from a friend sharing the sad news that her sister had passed. It was not expected. She hadn’t been ill — in the hospital for some procedure. The second was from my husband’s older brother. We knew he had lung cancer, we didn’t know that the cancer had spread to his other lung and he didn’t plan to get more treatment.

I decided to send my book JOURNEY WITH ME to them. The stories in the book were written when my father first passed over to the other side. I was just beginning to recognize “help” from the other side. Since I was writing my first book TO PAP, WITH LOVE — I became VERY AWARE of the fact that I had an unseen editor. Writing the book was challenging on two fronts. The first was in remembering the events that occurred in the right order. For the most part I hadn’t kept a journal during my father’s illness. Sometimes I wrote a few notes which were a great help but most of the events relied on my memory. The second front involved “my editors.” I had TROUBLE in the writing — sentences disappeared, computer shut off, printing a hard copy became impossible at times. I don’t know if I kept notes on all the fun I had writing and rewriting the book. When I finally finished I tried without success to get a publisher. I ended up publishing the book myself through IUNIVERSE — an online publishing company that only prints books to order.

The great thing about publishing through IUNIVERSE was not only the affordability and the professional help, but the books are still available. Not only TO PAP, WITH LOVE but also JOURNEY WITH ME from Amazon. I found TO PAP, WITH LOVE quickly — JOURNEY WITH ME was harder. I needed to add the author’s name to the search.

Before I mailed JOURNEY, I decided to read some of the stories I had included. Some were very familiar. I was in the process of taking a class in creative writing at our city college. Some of the stories were written for the class. Others came from incidents that I included in TO PAP, expanded into more of a story. Others were brand new — no longer in my memory. I realized that if I wanted to get the books in the mail, I needed to stop reading and mail. I decided to read the last stories before mailing the books. TaDum TaDum TaDum included my husband’s second cancer surgery. I included a sentence that stated I knew why he needed chemo again because of a dream I had. ?????? What dream? What message? CONFUSED!

Since the writing was at the end of JOURNEY I knew the timeline it might have come from. For many years I have kept a daily engagement calendar. I guessed on the date of the dream and thankfully found a tiny note. Because there was a long time frame from the discovery of the cancer and the removal, there was more time for the cancer to spread. I referred to it in my notes as weeds. There was also a note from the dream on eating more vegetarian meals to help control my weight.

I was glad that I found the note on the dream. It would have bothered me. I have to admit that I’m still not good on taking notes. I either think I will remember (WRONG) or hide them from myself. I thought that discovering the importance from notes might make me more apt to take them, but the reality is that it won’t.

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WOMAN AT THE WELL

April 22, 2017

I’m a practicing Catholic. As I write this we are in the middle of Lent. Last week at the church in the country, the gospel revolved around the Samaritan Woman at the well. How she went into town and asked her town folk to come listen to Jesus. I’m rather familiar with the story since Peter, Paul, and Mary had a song Jesus Met The Woman. They are a favorite of mine. The pastor at the church in the country reminds me of the way our religion was practiced in times gone by. Saying the rosary, fasting, set prayers, preparing for Easter were all mentioned.

Today’s gospel revolved around the restoring of sight to the blind man. Today I was at our church in the city. The focus was on the upcoming Parish Mission and Stations of the Cross. The gospel homily reflected modern times. The contrast in the styles of the different homilies caught my attention. Now you are probably wondering why I’m spending time and energy writing about this. If you have read my last thought ramble titled OLDER, you might remember that I wrote about being confused — wondering just what I am supposed to do. Knowing that a message is out there, I just haven’t been able to decipher it. I had surmised that part of it concerns Angels as Playmates, another part concerns the importance of my family. I’m often at the right place, at the right time to share a story: Pap and The Pancake Turner: my father let me know that he was fine when he passed. Or the story of Shanae’s spirit running through our house. Recently I gave a copy of my book Journey With Me to a woman who had lost her only son and was trapped in grief.

My morning reading often refers to being chosen — the question is often asked “Who can I send?” So I’m wondering if I’m the woman at the well. If my thought rambles are meant to share information of life after death with anyone who wanders onto my page. This morning’s gospel: “blind but now I see” is interesting. I know that many years ago I crossed a bridge. I have a better understanding — I know that I’m never alone. I was blind, but now I see. I like that knowledge. My father passed over more than 25 years ago. I’m sure that he is often around. It is interesting how often I meet someone who is dealing with Alzheimer’s in their family. My mother was able to hide the fact that she “helped” me. Looking back, I can see times when I received “help”, especially when my father’s Alzheimer’s intensified. Since I neither see nor hear “my friends in high places” — my experiences might help you to recognize the “help” that you receive.

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OLDER

April 15, 2017

I’m sure that something is going on. A message might be trying to get through but it isn’t clear. I haven’t the foggiest idea what, if anything, I’m supposed to do. Okay, have I confused you? Just what is it that I’m grumbling about?

In my morning readings I’m reminded “Trust God’s promises to you.” Abraham is popping up often. On the news — radio — TV — I’m reminded of people in their 100’s that are accomplishing amazing things. Recently on TV a 98 year old woman was featured playing Amazing Grace on a piano on the Grand Old Opera stage. She learned how to play as a girl, played for her classmates, got scared and NEVER performed in public again. I don’t know what program I was watching when I saw it. She was AMAZING — not only playing the notes but adding runs and other enhancements. Of course she received a standing ovation.

All of the people who are appearing haven’t reached their 100 birthday. I finished exercising one morning and turned the television back to a normal channel in order to listen to Jerry Lewis on his 91st birthday exercising his wit.

I get it! Age is not a factor in what a person can accomplish. My question is: “What am I supposed to do?” And of course there is no reply. Not that “I” hear — but since information comes to me in many different forms — I would think that I would get a hint of the task at hand. Instead I’m reminded that Angels are Playmates and Confidants or how important my family is to me.

And I agree to both of those statements but they don’t give me a hint as to the task at hand. Now I will admit that if I don’t have a thought ramble ready to publish my life becomes more complicated. Or I get hit on the head. Stuff still avalanches out of our freezer, sometimes falling on the floor, sometimes hitting me on the head or smashing on my feet — especially when I’m not wearing shoes.

So is the answer to my question that I’m just supposed to stay available to our family and make sure I have something written to publish once a week? I wish I could write that I have lots of energy and am accomplishing wonders in our house but I don’t like to lie. The truth is that the past few weeks have seen my lazy side. I’m exercising a little in the morning, a little in the evening. I’m walking Robin — it would be great to say 10,000 steps a day but I have trouble reaching 6,000. I could blame it on my knees — they don’t like the cold or the damp. For the most part I’m cooking — but if I can make something that lasts for a second meal I don’t mind.

Stay tuned — if I receive an answer, I’ll share.

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CLOSET

April 8, 2017

When I was younger, if I wanted to lose weight, I would pick a diet, stay on it for a week or two and lose weight. Did you notice? I wrote when I was YOUNGER. Now I look at food, not even eat it and I gain weight. Heaven help me if I smell it. A slow cooker is a gift — prepare the food in the morning, set it to cook and eat it later in the evening when you are tired. Except — if you are home — the fragrance lingers in the rooms, promising good stuff to come. I have tried putting the slow cooker in the basement when Italian spices are included, as long as I stay out of the basement — it helps.

Weekly, monthly magazines always have a new plan, promising weight lose. I have tried a few — the weight loss promised never materializes. I haven’t given up though. Except I might FINALLY have realized what works for me. I wrote a few weeks back that the scale finally moved. It did — DOWN. It has been so long since my weight was down, I’m trying very hard to keep it off. But still live a normal (?) life.

I’m always captivated by a new recipe — especially for soup. Then of course I need to add my own spin. I usually end up with something that has no relationship to the original recipe but at the same time, I might not have liked that either. Since I’m sodium restricted, I eliminate salt and add spice. If I was smart, I would stay with the recipes I REALLY LIKE instead of experimenting with new stuff. Of course, I always say that when I’ve tried something new and missed the mark.

Realizing what works, noticing when weight has gone up and correcting immediately — I’m happy with the numbers I see in the morning. I’ve tried on a two piece bathing suit that I wore ONCE two years ago. Thankfully — this time I didn’t look like a seal AND I COULD GET THE TOP OFF. Last time I wore it, I was afraid I would be wearing it until it either fell off or I cut it off.

I’m still having 2 tablespoons of Braggs apple cider vinegar with honey in the morning and the evening. I’ve tried to increase the amount of water I drink. When I have too much sodium (ate out), I have a cup of dandelion tea — either root or detox. I’m still enjoying my red wine and dark chocolate along with 6 almonds in the morning.

Since I was so happy when I tried on the bathing suit — I tried on blouses that I received at Christmas that didn’t fit. Thankfully now — they DID. Caution to the wind, I tried on a jogging outfit that hung in my closet for too many years to count. IT FIT! I’m not giving up — I still would like to lose another pound or ten.

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BELLY BAND

April 1, 2017

When we were at our daughter’s house in Central Illinois, I saw an advertisement on TV that caught my attention. The silhouette of a woman was shown who had tummy rolls similar to mine, another silhouette was shown of the same woman without the tummy rolls. At the time I just had caught a glimpse. I didn’t know what product they were advertising but I remembered the silhouettes.

Fast forward a couple of weeks when one of the catalogues had an advertisement for a belly band. When I investigated — seen on TV was mentioned. I thought it was for the commercial that had caught my interest. I learned it was available at Wal-Mart for a low cost. The next day the product was in my hands. On Tuesday the band was on my body. I wore it all day and needed a towel to dry off not only the band but my body. Wednesday I tried again. Only I only wore it half of the day. When I took it off both the band and my belly were drenched. I noticed I had a rash on both sides of my belly that ITCHED. My husband suggested I wear a tee shirt under the band to catch the water. I might try it.

For the time being, I’m going band less. The rash is getting better but I’m not sure if my whole body joined in the rebellion or the stuff I put on to control the itch caused a MAJOR REACTION. Either way I’m drinking plenty of water, avoiding creams, etc — giving time for my body to recover.

I would LOVE to lose what I’m laughing referring to as my inner tube. I don’t want to resort to surgery or other such methods. I would like my inner tube to melt. If I get down on the floor, I have an awful time getting back up. I’m not sure if tummy scrunches would work but I have added a few when I’m laying on the bed at night. That is where I have been doing my leg exercises.

I often share my successes, I thought I would share this pit fall too.

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SCALE FINALLY MOVED

March 25, 2017

I gave in. I fought the good fight but I had to send up the white flag. For months, or should I say years — I have faithfully logged in my food in a notebook. I don’t measure it but for the most part, I was honest about what I was ingesting. I’m using that word because I can LOOK at food and gain weight — also the smells, oh — the aroma of pizza or popcorn or chocolate. Lets not mention hot dogs, steaks and other assorted invitations to eat.

On New Year’s Eve I vowed that I would exercise EVERY DAY! So far I have kept that resolution. Some days — my exercise is minimal. I’ve switched some exercise to right before bed — leg exercises and the various arm movements I did in the morning. Many nights I’m too tired but I convince myself to move. I seem to sleep better after. The morning I reserve for more strenuous exercises — Tai Chi, Jane Fonda, aerobics. A couple of years ago I did Simons or Belly Dancing — but it was a couple of years ago. I tried Belly Dancing last week, but my knees rebelled.

I was exercising, eating healthy — watching my proportions. Not snacking and THE SCALE REFUSED TO MOVE. Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating, maybe it went down an ounce only to go back up the next day. My knees continued to yell. I was getting upset with my lack of progress. I continued with apple cider vinegar with honey morning and night. I added Ashwagandha to deal with the stress of life and the results of the election. (I won’t comment on that.) And life went on — up one day, down the next. Oh, maybe down for two days, and I started to get excited only to go out to eat — have too much sodium and watch the numbers climb.

Now I know that if I gave up my wine it might help. But there are many advantages to drinking wine unless you over indulge, consume a bottle or more a day. I’m often reminded of the heart benefits of red wine.

So I ran up the white flag. I surrendered. With all my protesting, you would have thought I was doing something really HARD. Actually it is not. It is just time consuming and I have to PLAN! What am I making for supper? What am I eating when we go out? How many samples am I going to allow myself to have at Costco or other food store? In the morning, I’ll plan out my day using the program on MY FITNESS PAL.

I have only begun but my weight has DECREASED. I don’t know what the number is called. It was one those rounding ten numbers. And I’M UNDER IT. FOR THREE DAYS NOW and going lower. I will admit that I’m continuing on with my gratitude journal. I’m looking at cookbooks for recipes that the WHOLE family will enjoy. (Cooking for one, with two other people to cook for gets OLD!) I’ve made some soup for the freezer and it is my go to for lunch if I’m home. I’m also doing yogurt parfait sundaes for BREAKFAST. BUT I HAVEN’T HAD TO GIVE UP MY WINE OR DARK CHOCOLATE.

My knees still complain but it is early days yet. It dawned on me the other day that my weight in the morning is not as important for my knees as the weight in the evening. That is what my body carries around all day.

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