Random Acts of "Kindness"

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WHERE ARE YOU

A couple of years ago I was reading either a magazine or a book that asked me to name ten people in my life that were important to me. No problem — I did that easily. Then the author asked where on the list I was. Surprise, I wasn’t there at all.

For the last 20 days I have joined Deepak Chopra and Oprah for a 21 day meditation. It ends tomorrow on Easter Sunday. I have trouble meditating — my mind, my body, the noises in my environment — they all distract me. Each day, at the end of the meditation, Oprah asked three questions that I have found very interesting. They all pertained to regaining my health. Instead of journaling on the computer, I have written in long hand in a book. The questions are helping me pay attention to me, to keep myself on my list.

My life can be very quiet and uneventful. If I am doing what I should — exercising or resting, eating healthy, not extremely worried, going with the flow of my life — “my friends” remain in the background. They “help” when there is a need, otherwise my life is uneventful, I have NOTHING to write about.

Since I found and accepted the invitation to meditate, my life has been quiet. Hoping to increase my energy level I have added more exercise to my day. I am paying more attention to my diet, hoping to melt. I wish I could say that my sleep is more restful, I’m hoping that will happen.

This week, the noise coming from North Korea caused me some concern since my son and I are planning to go to Hawaii. A message came through the morning I heard of the stealth bombers to DETACH FROM DRAMA. I am paying attention to the message — other than pray for a peaceful world — there is nothing I can do anyway.

When I was at the Mind, Body, Spirit Expo a knowledgeable person advised me to talk to a nutrionalist, my body needs some minerals that are either missing or in short supply. An invitation from a near by hospital invited me to a healthful dinner where a  Doctor of Internal medicine is speaking on vitamins and supplements. I have accepted the invitation.

On Good Friday, the last question of the meditation was: “How do you know when you are living in or out of alignment with your life’s purpose?” I had to laugh, when I’m out of my life’s purpose I get hit on the head. Pebbles in the road become boulders.

My youngest daughter was at our house with her two children. They were trying to play Skylanders when the Portal Of Power stopped working. Our daughter told her children that unusual things happen in Gramma’s house. We wanted to take the kids to McDonald’s for lunch and active play in the playlot before they had to get back into the car and drive back home for three hours.  Our grandson wanted to play on the computer. “My friends” must have agreed with me.

ENERGY WHERE ARE YOU

Since I set the theme of this blog as recognizing help from “my friends on the other side” it seems against the rules to grouse about life in general. But grouse and complain I do, just not here — and sometimes I get HELP from the other side.

The ulcer on my left leg restricted my ability to stand for a long period of time. It didn’t affect my ability to walk, so I was able to shop, as long as I didn’t have to wait in line for a long time. I passed on going to the museum, decisions to go out reflected my energy levels and level of pain. Exercise was also affected — making my leg hurt was not in my best interest and I knew it. When the leg screamed, I laid down. As a result, my energy is very low.

This has been brought home to me as I feel the need for a nap soon after getting up in the morning. Exercise routines that were easy are now a challenge. I HAVE NOT given up yet.

I decided for Lent that I would meditate every day. It hasn’t happened. Until last week when I received an invitation from Oprah to join Deepak Choprah’s 21 day Meditation Challenge. After 13 days I still can not meditate. If it isn’t the noise in the house, my mind has its own thing going on but I try and try again. The questions following the meditation have been very interesting. They are making me pay more attention to my body and they have generated “Help” from the other side.

It should come as no surprise that I have been trying to lose weight for a very long time, with no success. One meditation and questions concerned eating for balance. I received an e-mail detailing the amount of protein needed to support the body. Dr Oz had been on the cover of a weekly magazine with the same subject recently. Through the years I have determined that I needed a protein diet but the amount I consume hasn’t reached the target point. I remembered that the South Beach Diet worked for me a few years ago, it is protein based. I actually lost weight. The South Beach Diet was on the cover of a weekly magazine today.

Thursday, the soft boot was removed from my leg, a gauze bandage covered the healing sore.  My husband and I stopped at Food For Less to pick up supplies. I met a man from Texas in the vegetable aisle and was able to help him find the vegetable he was looking for. He shared the reason he was in our cold town instead of his warm state. Both he and his wife have come North to help their daughter and her family. I talked to him for so long I phoned my husband to tell him the store didn’t swallow me. The next morning, an e-mail reminded me that even though I reach out with a warm word, I should not become the cane for another person.

Exercise, I still don’t have the energy. The word Yoga has been surfacing on a regular basis. Although I haven’t signed up for a class or put an hour DVD into the machine, I’m doing some yoga exercises most days as well as deep breathing.

Has my energy returned? Not yet but I’m working on it.

HI MOM

I was congested in my throat and chest. I will admit that I didn’t think I should go to the Mind, Body, Spirit Expo on March 2, 2013 at Northlake. It was cold outside, and it was often chilly in the meeting rooms. I will also admit that I always totally enjoy the Expo and wasn’t happy that I thought I shouldn’t go. Since I have realized that I walk to a different drummer, I am very comfortable there. I was going to stay home,  be an adult and pay attention to my health. My friend’s in high places didn’t agree. They thought I should go. The message came through very loud and clear. First thing in the morning, I opened the bible to a passage from Jeremiah: “like the anguish of a mother with her first child.” I listed my reasoning for staying home.  I was reminded that life is a creative process with many possibilities. I was told to TRUST and TAKE BACK MY POWER. I was also told to surrender to the Divine. The messages all had the same theme — and I got the message. I also got the last parking space at the Expo.

I have to admit that I was glad that I went. A few years ago, I attended a workshop at the Expo where the presenter told me that my mother was there, she is often with me when I wash clothes. And I have to admit that I am grateful for her presence. Since she passed when I was four, I don’t know her. Since her passing was so tragic, my family didn’t speak of her. I don’t know her stories but I have been told that I am like her in many ways.

During the day, I was reminded of my mother four to five times.  I don’t remember all of the occasions. Our middle daughter has had two nicknames. Her name is unique since I made it up when I was a Freshman in High School to honor my brother, who also passed. This woman not only had my daughter’s nickname, but her husband’s name was Terrence — my brother’s name. Later  in the afternoon, someone told me that my mother was with me.

When I’m at the Expo, I try to be more alert to information that I need, but also anything that would be helpful to my children. Sometimes they can take advantage of it, at other times, it isn’t possible. I met a doctor who might be able to help the spasms in my middle daughter’s back. He is from India and only in the States for a limited time. Sadly, her schedule doesn’t permit her to meet with him.

Although my oldest daughter was at the Expo, we often attend separate presentations. I went to a workshop presented by an artist and received ideas that would be helpful to both my daughter and I. It’s time to find my paints!

I planned to attend a two hour workshop to end the day. The temperature of the room was so cool, I went to get my coat. I watched as they set up the room for the presentation and realized the speaker was an author.  I listened to her opening music and knew it was time to leave.

Returning to the lobby, I saw a woman from my neighborhood and asked if she needed a ride home. Her driver was from the south side and was happy to be able to go home.  The driver works in the Palmer House, a building that my youngest daughter wants to use in her story.  She actually knows the person that my daughter needs to speak to.

Thanks Mom!

LEXIE, OUR ENERGIZER PUG

We sent a friend home on March 4, 2013. She was a black pug with a very white muzzle, 16 – 17 years old, half blind and half deaf. She had a long tongue which hung out of her mouth. She had trouble walking, could no longer run or climb stairs, and had a fish tail walk. A compressed disk in her back a few years ago had affected the use of her back legs.  She moved into our house with our son and Tidbit, a fawn pug, a few years ago.

She barked — when she needed to go out, was hungry, thirsty or wanted a cookie. In other words, she had a good quality of life. The human’s in her life were well trained.

She didn’t mind going out in the rain, liked to eat the snow and loved to take showers in the summer and eat popcorn anytime. Car rides were a joy, as well as spending time in the country.

She was small but mighty. She thought she could eat any dog that crossed her path. Luckily since she was small, we picked her up. Left to her own devises, she charged after the four footed dog that crossed her path. She did not care how big it was — a German shepherd or a poodle; she wanted to take them all on.

It was no longer necessary to put her on a leash when she went out. Daily walks increased in time. It wasn’t unusual to spend 20 minutes nudging her up the sidewalk. She only took a step or two before we needed to nudge her again.  She didn’t like to stay in the back yard. She always wanted to experience the world around her. We never knew what it was she saw, heard, or felt but she liked to stand and meditate — watching the traffic, feeling the vibrations of passing vehicles. The icy sidewalk was hard for her, she couldn’t get traction.

She was an inspiration. With her many problems, she just kept going. Monday morning, I took her for her morning walk. The sidewalks were clear of ice and snow. To my amazement, she actually took more steps than usual before taking a break.

Our son noticed a lump on her back on Sunday night. He wondered if cancer had returned. He decided that we would keep a watch on it.  A doctor’s appointment called my husband and I out of the house early on Monday. While we were gone, Lexie kept barking. Our son surmised that the lump was not allowing her to get comfortable. The vet agreed, it was pressing on her kidney.

Since we weren’t home to say good-bye, Monday night I heard her bark four different times. When I told my husband, he said he heard her barking too. She just wanted to say goodbye. After I verbally acknowledged her bark, I haven’t heard it again. Monday night into Tuesday, 10 inches of snow fell. At least she didn’t need to try to walk in that.

CAPTURE THE MOMENT

We wandered down to Central Illinois to celebrate our youngest grand-daughter’s fourth birthday. The day we drove, freezing rain, sleet and snow were predicted. Thankfully we arrived before the storm. And the weatherman was correct — freezing rain, sleet and five inches of snow fell before dark and into the night. Our grandson was unhappy — school WAS NOT cancelled. But there was still snow on the ground when he came home from school, enough to go sledding at the park. One of his classmates was already on the hill when we arrived. Our daughter joined her daughter on the sled and the fun began. I DID NOT sled down the hill. My HUSBAND did. I don’t know if I would have taken a turn if my leg was healed, if my health was better. As it was, I enjoyed taking their pictures, I enjoyed watching their fun. I ENJOYED THE MOMENT!

Central Illinois was snow starved — this was the first measurable snow that they have had this year. AND WE WERE THERE.

I have been aware of life on the other side for more than eighteen years now.  Said like that, it is a long time. I am no longer in kindergarten — I have learned MANY lessons and having learned, they are seldom repeated. Day’s and weeks can go by without anything unusual happening in my life. But what is normal for me, might be unusual for someone else.

Saturday was the anniversary of my father’s birthday. Anniversary’s are important. Unusual things sometimes happen. I try to be more aware.

Saturday was a normal day. Our grandson played basketball and we cheered him on. We went to a restaurant for lunch. Nothing unusual.

I went to evening Mass at St. Patrick’s. (Getting to early Sunday Mass is difficult.) The music was led by the teen ministry complete with flute, violin and piano. The program listed it as the Mass of St. Ann. The gospel was the Transformation of Jesus on the mountain. Father’s homily focused on the times when we get a gift — a glimpse of the other side —  how — if and when it happens, we need to enjoy and reflect on the moment. Being that I have had a few such experiences, I can definitely agree. And I can also agree that there never seems to be enough.

After my father passed, I attended a Christ Renews His parish weekend at our church. Our group sponsored the next weekend. One important part of the weekend is to give “help” letters to the participants. I decided that I wanted to make a card for each — I NEEDED a verse to go on each card. I brought many books with me to the camper for research. On my morning walk, I was GIVEN the verse: “Lord, as long as You are with me, I am never alone.” I didn’t need the books after all. (The full story is in JOURNEY WITH ME.)

After the priest’s homily on Saturday night, The congregation sang this song. FLY LIKE A BIRD! “Fly like a bird to the Lord, my soul. I want to soar like an eagle. Though I may journey far from home, I know I’ll never be alone.”

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD! Thank You!

IT’S BACK

Yesterday was the anniversary of my father’s passing. I have to admit that I didn’t remember. Lexie, our energizer Pug, woke at 4:30 – barking for assistance. I hate to admit that I didn’t come to her aid. The temperature outside was predicted to be frigid, in the single digits with zero wind chill. It was early and I could hear the wind howling. When I finally surfaced at 5:30, I had clean up to do: her blanket, her pillow and herself. Not her fault, she asked for help.

The wind continued all day — my husband strongly suggested I stay inside and for a change I listened. I took advantage of downtime and made chicken soup. I ordered a few books from Amazon. I began to pack for our trip to my youngest daughter’s to celebrate her daughter’s birthday. I pulled the bag from my closet and took out the sunscreen and other ointments — they were not needed in frigid temperatures. I have used the bag many times since our trip to the Wisconsin Dells in October. Not only have I used it many times since October but I have completely emptied it many times!

Why am I going on and on about the bag? I am still amazed. In October, I lost a cash card. Not only was the cash card lost, but the receipts for purchases that we made on our trip were with it.  It was very important to me that the envelope was found. I guess you can surmise that it WASN’T! I looked in our car, I looked in ALL the bags I had with me. I looked at our camper. I looked and Looked and LOOKED without success.

Yesterday, the anniversary of my father’s passing; the cash card and the receipts were returned. They were in the bag that I always use. I HAVE NO ANSWER! The envelope WAS NOT there before! NOW IT WAS! Thank you! THIS WILL REMAIN ONE OF THE MYSTERIES OF MY LIFE. I’m glad it was returned.

I might have mentioned that a vascular surgeon is putting a soft boot on my leg to get the ulcers to heal. Although the boot is working, it is causing other problems. The skin on my heel cracked. On my dresser, I had a couple of tubes of ointment for dry skin. One of them was Carmex healing cream. I didn’t remember where I had purchased it. But it worked. In fact it worked within TWO DAYS. I WANTED more. The pharmacy at the hospital didn’t have it, and couldn’t order it.

I tried CVS by our house. They had the lotion but not the healing cream. They phoned a store that is about a half mile away. They had one in stock. Rain was forecast but I thought I had enough time. Instead of returning home for the car, I walked. Moisture was in the air and I didn’t have an umbrella. It was 52 degrees under cloudy skies. After purchasing the cream, I started for home. On the way, I found SIX PENNIES on the ground. Thankfully, the rain held off until I reached home.

PENNIES AND DIMES

It dawned on me the other day that many new people have started reading my thought rambles. Sometimes my ramble is very clear, it is evident that I’m receiving “help” from my friends in higher places. On the other hand — sometimes that “help” is hidden. And I reckon that is the reason I have been nudged to write a blog.

I have read many articles where pennies, or nickels, or dimes appear to let the person know that their family member on the other side is with them. Recently I read a story where birds appeared, not just one specie but a variety — robins, cardinals, a hawk to let the person know that the family member, on the other side, was watching over them and approved.

In my life — nothing is constant. I do not see or hear “my friends” on the other side. I have no proof that they are involved in my life. Before my father passed over and let the cat out of the bag, my mother was involved in my life. She was VERY GOOD — I did not have the faintest notion that I was receiving “help.” Maybe that is why I receive nudges and information in so many different ways. I’m aware that if I ignore the message that is being sent — if it is important — my life becomes more challenging or the message repeats so many times I can’t help but pay attention.  The nudge to write this blog is a good example. First there was the movie, Julia and Julia, after I read the book and saw the movie, blogs did not surface for a long time. Then the nudges began, slowly at first. Sisters on a TV program were invited to speak from someone who had read their blog, time passed. I paid NO ATTENTION. So things sped up — a magazine article in Weight Watchers, followed by Judge Judy on TV again. Then an article in the AARP magazine. My youngest daughter started a blog. I’m sure you get the idea. I finally did! In fact, my first post was titled I GIVE UP, on May 24, 2012. I didn’t think I had time to write or enough to write about. Just to let them know I was listening, I tried the server my daughter was using. I didn’t think I was going to start one —  wanted to see what I had to do. I have trouble thinking of titles but the first title I thought of was available.  So I began. This will be number 42.

I wish I could say that I write every week. That would be lovely — some day that might happen. Now I either write when I have the time, an idea or have been nudged often enough to put ideas in print. I hope these thought rambles are helpful to you. I hope the various things that happen to me have helped you to see the “help” that is occurring in your own life.

I guess “my friends” approved of this idea. I rarely find money on the ground, but the day I thought of this title, I found a quarter.

CROSSING THE T’S

As soon as I solve one problem, another pops up. Monday, I spoke to the doctor about the welts that were appearing under the top of my boot. The previous Monday, my appointment was in the morning, my leg wasn’t swollen from the day’s adventures; this Monday, my appointment was later in the day — leg swollen. He wrapped the leg a bit looser anyway. Problem solved, or so I thought.

Tuesday, it felt like I had a crack on the heel of my foot under the boot. Every time I took a step, I became aware that something was wrong. If I kept my foot up, things were fine. But when I put weight on the foot again, the boot pulled on the damaged area. I toughed it out on Wednesday. My oldest daughter suggested I put cream on the area. The wrapped foot prevented access. “My friends” prodded me to rely on myself and encouraged me to pay attention to my body. Listening, Wednesday night I investigated a way to gain access to my heel and applied cream. Thankfully, the heel is better today. Another issue to speak with the doctor on Monday. I’m sure he is so happy with me.

We received news that the paperwork for refinancing our home was ready. Signing was set for Friday. Thursday I received a phone call detailing the new financial data. The new payment was higher than I expected, blamed on much higher taxes. Investigating, I learned that the title company was responsible for calculating the tax. Luckily, we had received the first real estate tax bill due in March. We don’t have a fax machine, but the accounting office in our neighborhood was able to fax the document to the adjuster. Working overtime, he was able to solve the problem, coming up with a better total. When the notary came with the papers to sign, I asked if she had the corrected documents. There still was a problem. Luckily a phone call and our computer and printer, provided the corrected paperwork.

One more “T”.  I mentioned that I decided to look for boots of my own. I found some on sale, even if they are size 11, rather than share my son’s size 10. It is a good thing that I did. Outside on Thursday, after the ice, rain, snow mix — our son’s socks got wet. His boots went to recycling the next morning. I offered to share my new ones.

EARLY MORNING CHALLENGE

Early Saturday morning, I opened the curtains to gaze at the icy sidewalks, still frozen from Thursday’s sleet, rain, snowy mix and saw a rabbit sitting in front of our house. He was not bothered by the ice — making his way down the frozen path, stopping now and then to listen.

Usually I’m greeted by a cardinal’s song when I open the door in the morning. I was surprised to see a rabbit.

Moment’s later, I was glad that I had a quiet start to the day. Entering the kitchen, Lexie,  our senior resident Pug’s eyes were open, I would have to put on my coat and take her out. Usually she is asleep and I let her sleep until the morning warms up. She needs a bit of assistance since she is no longer able to walk up and down the stairs. She can’t walk on the frozen terrain either.

My normal practice is to put on my coat and quickly lift her from her pillow. Thankfully this morning I had a hard time getting my arms around her. I moved her pillow instead. That is when I noticed her back leg resting on the radiator grates. On closer inspection, I discovered her toenail was inside the grating, wrapped around to come out a few openings away. Taking off my coat, I gently maneuvered the nail, finally setting her leg free. I don’t know if I asked for help before starting, but I definitely said “Thank You” when Lexie was free.

Although Lexie was able to walk, she still couldn’t navigate on the ice. Warmer temperatures are predicted for Sunday along with icy rain in the morning. The frozen pond in the backyard might become a lake.

I’M READY FOR SPRING!

GUIDANCE

February 2, Groundhog Day — a crow’s cry broke the silence of the snowy morning. Native American folk lore considers them a sign of the Creator. I hadn’t heard their voice since early fall.

A cardinal normally greets me when I take Lexie out in the early morning. It reminds me of my aunt Connie. I first heard its song this year on January 12, the temperature was 52. The weather forecast predicted cold temperatures for the next week. I told the bird that some salesman gave it the wrong information.

One of the early thought rambles I wrote after my father’s passing was titled FEATHERS. “A black feather fell as I was sitting outside at the picnic table, drinking my morning cup of coffee before leaving for church to attend Mass on the feast of the Assumption of Our Lady.” I was at our camper, working on my first book:  To Pap, With Love.

Since that time birds, bird songs, and feathers have been important in my life.

I receive guidance in many ways. I don’t always look at the comics in the paper but often a strip will attract my attention. Sometimes it is reflective of my life. This week a writer was having trouble choosing a subject for her new book. At first, I thought it pertained to my youngest daughter who is crafting a children’s book. But she has her subject, she knows what she is writing about. I have to admit that my cupboard  is bare, no ideas until this morning.

On Monday, the Vascular surgeon put my left leg in a boot — plaster type wrap, gauze and tape.  He told me that I didn’t need to do anything with it. He will change it at my next appointment. Zero weather was predicted for Thursday and the rest of the week. The date to submit the paperwork for the senior freeze was Feb. 6. Taking advantage of the warmer weather, on Wednesday I journeyed downtown to hand deliver the paperwork. Last year I mailed the document and we didn’t receive the deduction. I didn’t want to take that chance again. At City Hall, the person at the information desk directed me to go to room 320, get the paperwork date stamped and receive a copy.  I was very glad that I made the trip.

Thursday my leg rebelled. Bright and early, I thought of exercising — mid morning I had changed my mind. My eldest daughter phoned, strongly recommending that I do stretches, Tai Chi, or Yoga. Nothing strenuous. This advice came before I told her about my trip downtown. I paid attention when she remarked that there is often a reason why she is nudged to phone me.

Today, Saturday, we received the most snow of the season, almost 2″. I tried to put my snowboots on. The doctor’s boot wouldn’t allow my ankle to bend. The shoes that I wear are not suitable for snow, barely good for rain. I had been concerned about snow since winter began but when I tried on my snow boots, they fit. Now they DON’T! More snow is predicted for the coming week. I knew I was in trouble. This morning I borrowed my son’s boots to take Lexie out and sweep the snow off the steps.  Wearing his boots works when he is home, but he needs them to go to work. We wandered to Target after breakfast. I found a pair of size 11 boots reduced from $35 to $11. I would have tried on a size 10, but none were available. I had the same problem with the size 9 as my boots at home. I can’t say that I’m ready for more snow, but at least my foot, and the doctor’s boot will stay dry.

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