Random Acts of "Kindness"

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THWARTED

This word WAS NOT part of my vocabulary. It wandered into my mind. After checking to confirm that is was a word, I decided it was an excellent title for a thought ramble. Especially after the happenings in my life in January and February. Thwarted: “Block or Hinder. To keep from doing.”

Perhaps I should explain. In January I received an invitation to join Deepak Chopra for a 4 week meditation. I have tried to do his three week meditations in the past and although I still have trouble meditating, I thought I should keep trying. My schedule was clear — I thought I would be able to do it for four weeks. The first day, I connected to the meditation. That was the end of my success. Communication with the HELP desk didn’t help. From experience I knew I was being BLOCKED. WHY? No answer.

At the end of January the reason became apparent. Our 9 year old granddaughter’s migraines and thunder boomers had increased to such an extent that her mother took her to Diamond Clinic at St. Joseph hospital in Chicago. Her brother and their two dogs, one a black lab 4 month old puppy, stayed with us. When her father and brother returned home, I suggested the dogs stay with us. The puppy was excellent, just a puppy, forever hungry and wanting to play. All of Robin’s toys, in various states of togetherness, occupied the whole house. I quickly decided that exercise was NOT an option.

I was surprised at the number of states that the patients at St. Joseph came from. Diamond clinic must be very well known and we are blessed to have it in Chicago. Patients came from as far away as California and Georgia. Tennessee, Ohio and Missouri were also represented. Sadly the treatment didn’t get rid of my granddaughters headaches, although they might be better. I must admit that the house was quiet when the dogs left.

Our life returned to normal, right? WRONG! I’m still trying to catch up on sleep. Our winter weather mix is still continuing. Last Sunday was the first Sunday I attended Mass since Christmas. I don’t wander out when it is icy, nor do I drive. Watching the weather systems and shopping between them describes both January and February.

Shopping has presented its own challenges. I recently returned from Wal-Mart without half of my groceries. One bag was missing. Checking my receipt to get the phone number, I noticed that the items missing were not charged. ?? If there is an explanation, I don’t know what it is.

Sadly, I don’t keep good notes. I don’t write down the number of frustrations that are in each day. I read recently that I should note the co-incidences that occur in my life. I laughed. Co-incidences — DAILY? I don’t write down the number of times my brain doesn’t remember stuff. In other words, I don’t remember all of the times that thwarted fit the day. I’m sure it was a lot!

STILL SHRINKING

I thought I had the perfect title for a thought ramble, until I looked to see if it was used. YEP! Sadly the date wasn’t listed on the file. Great idea, I just didn’t think of doing it until now. Just for giggles, I read the thought ramble. Everything listed is still true. In fact, I was amazed at the writing. I know for a fact, that I am the one who puts down thoughts in these rambles. So often, I’m pleased with what I have written. I don’t feel the need to take out a red pen and revise. Of course, I will admit that I have unseen editors who influence what prints. If “they” don’t like it, it either disappears or won’t save until it is fixed.

This thought is not what inspired the title. Of course searching for a title is becoming harder and harder. When a thought ramble shares the same title, I might add a number. Shrinking #2. There are many different ways that shrinking is used. As time passes, a loan might shrink. Days pass, a vacation is nearer or the ending of the school year. The number of classes that is required to graduate or get a degree also becomes less. I wouldn’t might if my shrinking referred to my weight. Sadly I keep reading about people who have lost 20, 30 or 100 pounds. Sadly I’m not one of them. I used to try each new diet, hoping for a GREAT result. Even if I stuck to the diet without cheating, if I lost ONE POUND, it was a miracle. I have finally reached the conclusion that it doesn’t matter how much my height decreases, my weight will remain the same. Now if I added diet or regular soda to my eating, or cakes, cookies, candy, and then gave them up I might see a difference. I don’t need to gain extra pounds in order to lose extra weight. For the most part, I eat a healthy diet.

I decided to increase my exercise. I have restarted Jane Fonda Fit and Strong. I was hesitant to do so. I remembered the various exercises that was in the second part and didn’t think I would be able to do it. I had forgotten how many GOOD exercises were in the first part. The first part fits my body better right now. Many of them are seated. I will admit that many times my knees don’t like what I have done. Jane says that the exercises will get easier. I’m waiting impatiently. Thinking back, I’ve tried to remember when my neck lost its flexibility. I don’t remember having trouble turning my neck, Suddenly, I do. Are the exercises helping? I don’t know but in order to drive, I have to be able to turn my neck.

I can’t stop my height from shrinking, but hopefully I will be able to regain my muscles. I want to have strength to open a can, lift a pot. I’ll gladly leave the heavy lifting to those who have muscles, just so I can do the things that are important to me.

PUZZLED

There are subjects that I avoid in my writing. I don’t waste time or energy thinking about or writing about religion or politics. Except sometimes rules are meant to be broken. This seems to be one of those times.

I’ve mentioned that I feel that the BLOCKS are on. I don’t seem to be the only one that is being BLOCKED. Our granddaughter is experiencing major migraines. One of my daughters has tried to help her with Reiki. Successful before, now it is blocked. Our grand daughter ended up spending time in the hospital but left after a couple of days, no better for the experience. Of course I have been storming heaven with prayers for my granddaughter, without success. Answer in a reading in the Bible, paraphrased “God can do all things.” Reading concerned a problem in the old testament where God intervened. I almost didn’t read the whole thing — tired of reading about battles, etc. I was thankful for the story, I’ll keep storming heaven.

I’ve mentioned that I receive messages in various ways — newspaper, radio, TV, friends. Sometimes the thought is in my head. That is where the idea came from for this ramble. I’ve searched and searched for subjects to write about without success. Every title I think about has already been used.

By now you are wondering just what I’m rambling on this time. I’ve noticed that there are times when “help” seems to be missing. Usually it is during a crisis: hurricane, earthquake, tornadoes, forest fires, snow storm — the list goes on and on. Those that “help” are VERY busy.

Years and years ago my husband was in the army. At the end of the month we always ran out of money. I often made ketchup spaghetti, one of the few supplies still in the house. The folks in our armed services have more money now, but expense are also higher. Living from paycheck to paycheck is a way of life. EXCEPT — the Government is shut down. NO ONE is receiving paychecks!

Where are the angels and others who normally help us? I’m sure they are VERY BUSY. No end seems to be in sight. Five week shutdown and going. Over 8,000 government employees are going without a second paycheck –medicine, food, homes, cars — money. It is past time to not only increase our prayer time but broaden requests to include our nation.

IMPORTANT DATES

There are 352 days in the year. For some reason, some days are more important than others. Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays head the list. So are the dates of passing. Yesterday was the anniversary of the fire — passing of my mother and brother. It has been 70 years since they passed.

If I hadn’t remembered myself – the events of the week would have reminded me. If there is a better way of describing the events that occur in my life, at the moment it is hiding. One of my descriptions is BLOCKS. It doesn’t matter what I try to do, I CAN’T. I might be trying to write and can’t think. I might be trying to use the computer and it won’t work. I might be trying to cook and run into obstacles. I might have had something in my hand, put it down and it hides.

January 13, my computer would not connect to the internet. I asked my son for help and he said the internet was running, he had no problem. I tried to connect to a meditation and was prevented. I finally figured out that the BLOCKS were on. I don’t know why, I’m constantly reminded to meditate but that one is blocked. Too much time? I’m challenged when it comes to meditating. I have learned how to keep my mind blank, clear thoughts but I don’t connect.

No energy this week, I went downtown to drop off paperwork and my camera for cleaning. I stopped into St. Peter’s for Mass. I always pick up the bulletin and read it on my way home. I was reminded that fire symbolizes the transforming energy of the Holy Spirit’s actions. Bible reading today reminded me that in fire gold is tested. This is not the first time that I have heard these things. My scars are a reminder that I have been tested — but I’m not gold. It has taken many years but I now admit that I walk to a different drummer. Some talents have been discovered, many may still be hidden.

I did not know the date of the passing of my mother and brother for many years. It wasn’t necessarily hidden, just never talked about. Sadly, my family didn’t speak about my mother either — maybe it was too painful. Too celebrate January 19 this year, I took the ornaments off of our Christmas tree. Our tree is a memory tree and most of the ornaments have meaning. I knew I had four little metal angels, all playing different instruments. I found three. I usually place them in a grouping, together in the same area. I searched and searched without success.

Sunday, removing the lights, the little missing metal angel fell off the tree holding cymbals. I also found an Irish angel holding a harp. Reminded of my mother and brother, I laughed. My mom was Irish.

CHALLENGES

Often I can tell what kind of day it is going to be when I first get up. Sometimes the events of the day run very smoothly. My fingers don’t drop everything I touch. I don’t burn myself on the stove. My morning readings are encouraging. If I have to drive, the traffic is light. I find parking places and can get out of the car. Sometimes there are even bargains or sales of items I need.

Then there are the other days. I have trouble finding or putting on my clothes. My knees protest more. I drop too many things or my fingers forget how to work.

This morning I woke to challenges. It had snowed yesterday, we weren’t buried but I knew that I didn’t want to drive to church. Walking was out of the question. Ice? Distance? I planned to increase the distance that I walk each day, but it is still in the planning stage. I went back to bed.

Descending the staircase, my knees protested. Opening the back door, snow covered the stairs. Have broom, will sweep. Some of the stairs were very icy. I was very glad I decided NOT to go to church. Success! Stairs swept, salt poured down and I stayed upright.

I planned to make a pork roast in the slow cooker. Luckily my husband brought the cooker up from the basement and I had the pork roast in the refrigerator upstairs. Planning ahead, I made a low sodium soy sauce from a recipe in a cookbook from our first trip to Hawaii. I hadn’t read through the recipe, it required more steps than I planned, the challenges continued. Oops! Brown the roast — it almost fell on the floor.

I turned on my I-pad only to learn the internet was down. I asked my son for “help”. He said he didn’t have any problems. The internet was on. I was just BLOCKED.

I know I’m not the only one who has these kind of days. When they start like this, I pay more attention and SLOW down! I did. After breakfast which my husband cooked. I laid down to watch a couple of favorite cooking shows. I fell asleep.

I knew I had to write a couple of thought rambles. I had just read a story of the importance of telling your family stories. Although many of our stories have already been written and published, life goes on and so do my experiences.

I ordered new snow boots. They arrived yesterday — BEFORE the SNOW! I put on my boots and the rest of cold weather gear. I got Robin’s leash. She NEVER does her business in the backyard unless it is in the middle of night. I planned to take her for a walk. I was surprised when I noticed that she squatted and took care of business. I guess she didn’t want me to go for a walk!

As I searched for a title for this thought ramble, I opened a couple who shared the title I was thinking of. When I read them, I noticed most were written near the anniversary of the fire which sent my mother and brother home. SURPRISE– the anniversary is this week –FRIDAY!

BACKWARD MORNING

Morning — what a lovely word if I have gotten a good nights sleep. Not so lovely when I am tired, want to stay in bed but know I have to get up. Or tired, but can’t go back to sleep. I have learned it makes no sense to lie in bed when the body is hurting. I don’t turn on the light when I get up. I always choose what I am wearing the night before. This morning everything I put on was put on backward. HOW? Clothes didn’t feel right. Took off and tried a different direction. Now often I’ll put on something backward or inside out but EVERYTHING? I was tempted to go back to bed.

If you have read my thought rambles for any length of time, you understand that my “job” is too share the happenings in my life, hopefully involving “spirit”. If I don’t write on a timely basis sleeping and life become more interesting. I often get hit on the head like I did this morning. I tried a couple of days ago but all I saw was a blank screen. I could NOT come up with a title. The title was given to me this morning when getting dressed became a challenge.

Since the morning was challenging — I hit my head on a hanging cabinet. I forgot the door was open. Oops! Oww! Rain was expected, arriving momentarily, I took Robin for a morning walk. Had a cup of coffee. Delayed starting the day — Bible, Queen of Angels. I usually plan the evening meal before getting out of bed in the morning. NO IDEA! I knew I’m in trouble. Have to write — no inspiration.

I acquired NINE (9) cookbooks since September — Instant pot, hot pot. I opened each one at random looking for an idea. The very first one showed a lovely picture of Apple Balsamic Chicken. but I continued looking through the rest. I found two more recipes that might work for our family — one a soup, the other meat I don’t have in the house. I’ll need to cook many more days. I was dragging my feet, delaying opening the computer.

Looking for a notebook to write the suggestions in, I found a notebook that I used in 2017. It had a few notes from 2018 also. I had wondered what was going on last Christmas. Why had I not baked cookies? Why had I not bought Christmas cards or lights on sale? Some of the answers were there. I would have gladly read through all of the written pages but that would not have solved the problem of needing a thought ramble to publish.

I received two gifts for Christmas that I didn’t mention. The first was laughter — I don’t know where it came from or who was responsible but I found a 2″ plastic minnow on the sink in our upstairs bathroom. ??
Christmas morning, Facebook picked, just for me, a lovely story about a little girl who wrote a letter to God about her Lab that went to heaven. A response arrived, along with a Mr. Rogers book. I don’t know who shared it with me, but I shared it with my family. My daughter’s golden retriever went home in October, her cancer had progressed.

GIFTS ACKNOWLEDGED

Naming a thought ramble is becoming harder and harder. I even contemplated numbering them starting with the new year. Then my daughter mentioned it would be harder to find once they were written and not having a title — possibly generating less interest. A gift — constructive help in making a decision. Didn’t help with the title though. Often I receive feedback or information that helps with a decision. Often it is a gift that I don’t acknowledge.

It is easy to recognize gifts that come wrapped in paper — harder to recognize gifts that arrive on the wind or unwrapped. We received an unexpected Christmas card from a friend. Seeing the card, seeing her name brought a smile to my face. Her husband passed a few years ago, they had moved out of our neighborhood and I lost track of them. I still had to write our Christmas letter. A gentle reminder that time is passing.

Often I recognize gifts that are found in the stores — I’m reminded of product I need to buy when I see it in another cart. If the item is on sale, I’m happy. I acquired an instant pot unexpectedly when I found it on sale at Aldi’s. We returned from out of town and we stopped to pick up milk, salad and bread. I noticed the item on their sales sheet. Lovely surprise.

Often I read something that is of benefit to me. Or I hear it on the radio or television. Maybe I meet someone walking down the street or in a store whom I hadn’t seen in a while. All of these are gifts. They bring a smile to my face or laughter.

Filling the car with Gas at Costco has been a challenge the past couple of weeks. The number of cars waiting overflow the lot and wind down the street. When I inquired as to the best time to fill up, I was told before 10:00 or after 6:00. They were getting three truckloads of gas a day. My husband dropped me at the store, and joined the crowd waiting to fill up. Finished shopping, I sat at a table while I waited. A young boy was enjoying his hot dog and we talked about Santa. They left and I invited an older oriental woman to join me. I must have commented on her age and learned we were the same age. I shook her hand and she replied “you look so young.” What a gift. I wasn’t feeling very young when she said that on a cold, dreary winter day. It brought a smile to my face. A gift — forgotten except I wrote myself a note.

Maybe that is the key — write down the unexpected gifts that arrive — beautiful weather or just sunshine after a dreary day, a birds song, a phone call, or meeting on the street, a sale, a compliment — the list goes on and on.

ALARM CLOCK

A week doesn’t go by before someone in our household mentions how unique, Robin, our dog is. We took her for training when she first joined our household. She is too smart. She listens when she wants to. We are the ones who became trained.

We have had many dogs before Robin. I tried counting them a while back — eleven or twelve, not counting Tammy’s puppies that only lived with us until they found new homes. We have had many different breeds — most of them mixed. Parentage undetermined. All of them were special.

We still have our large home. My husband would like to sell our house and move into a smaller place in the country. We still have a bedroom for guests. Or should I say that Robin has her own room. She prefers to sleep by herself. Many of our previous dogs slept with us, on our bed or on the couch on the first floor. If we are in the country she sleeps either on the couch or one of the chairs or under our bed. She likes her bed to have the covers in place, so she can rearrange them to her liking. If the beds are unmade, she remains on the floor. Our son said she is imitating us. We curl up under the covers when it is chilly.

Robin doesn’t wear a watch. But she tells time. She knows when it is time for her supper. Her tummy is probably empty. She knows when it is time for our son to come home from work. Alert, she maintains a post on the radiator, watching the outside sidewalk. She also knows when it is time for our supper. She pesters our son until he comes down stairs to eat.

She is not old. We got her as a rescue when she was a puppy. She is probably five or six years old. But she lives with senior citizens. Our son isn’t a senior but he isn’t a young kid either. She still runs fast, but she doesn’t run as long. Nor does she play as long as when she was young. She loves her new toys but she often pulls out one of her beloved, chewed relics.

She LOVES to go for walks. Check out the neighborhood. Squirrel hunt with our son. She will do her business in the back yard in the wee hours of the morning if necessary, but otherwise, she has to be out walking. She knows the time for her walks. Early in the morning, unless she went out in the wee hours, then she has TO SLEEP IN! She will come down with my husband in the nine or ten o’clock hour. She has to go out around noon, after she has her supper, after we have our supper, around eight or nine o’clock and then before midnight. Most of those times is not to do anything of purpose, just to check on the neighborhood.

By now you must be wondering why I’m writing about her. The main reason is that she made me laugh the other night. She pestered and pestered our son until he came downstairs. She didn’t have to go out. She wanted our son to have his cereal before bed. So she could have his milk.

THE VOICES

I wrote this as an exercise for Creative Writing. We were supposed to write in a different style. My life had already changed considerably. I received more “help” than I ever dreamed possible. My “friends in high places” as I was beginning to call them, often woke me up at 4:00 AM. When my father was alive, he thought he could think better at that time of day. He even set his alarm so he would wake up. His sister Connie often got up that early. She had become another of “my friends in high places.” I thought getting up at seven was early enough. To make matters worse, an itch developed on both of my ankles. Scratching it felt better than eating chocolate or ice cream. Imagine if you will, three or four angels sitting around, conniving. The events are true. The dialogue is fiction. Or is it?

“She is awake. She should be up.”
“How are we going to get her out of bed? Nothing is working. She looks at the clock, rolls over, buries her head in the pillow and lays there.”
“It is after 6:00. Time is flying. She is wasting the day.”
“She ignores all the ideas we give her. Tells her brain to shut up, go back to sleep. Rolls over. Lays there.”
“I made her pillow lumpy. It didn’t work. She rolled over.”
“The dogs want to sleep too. I tried to get them to tell her they wanted to go out. They ignored me. They don’t want to get up this morning. ”
“It wouldn’t do any good anyway. He closed their bedroom door when he left.”
“If they barked or whined she would get up.”
“But they didn’t get up. They can sleep; she is the one who has to get up. How are we going to get her up.”
“I know! I know! I know how we can do it.”
“You’re so smart. How?”
“We can make her itch.”
“So we make her itch. She scratched, then she lies there.”
“That’s because you’re not doing it right.”
“What do you mean I’m not doing it right? There is not a right way and a wrong way to make someone itch.”
“Oh yes there is. I can make her itch so she gets up.” Oh yeah!”
“Yeah.”
“So smarty. How are you going to do it?”
“I’m going to start with just a little itch. She will scratch it, just a little bit, then roll over. I’ll wait a couple of minutes; let her think the itch is gone. Then I’ll make it itch just a little more. After she scratches, I’ll take the itch back for a couple of minutes. Give her a false sense of security.Then I’ll make her itch again. This time I’ll make a bigger spot itch, and maybe add another place. Spread it around a little bit. She won’t notice that the itch is growing. She still wants to sleep. This time I won’t wait as long after she scratches to make the itch come back. She will only be scratching her ankle. Now I’ll add her calf, just one spot, along with her ankle. I’ll make it feel really good to scratch, so she scratches longer, really gets into it. Now I’ll wait only a second before adding her foot to her ankle, along with her calf. Itch, Itch, Itch. She won’t be able to lie there. She will have to get up.”
“Go ahead and try it. What have we got to lose? She is just lying there. She will lie there all day. She doesn’t have a job, she doesn’t think she has to get up.”
“She never lays there all day. We have seen to that.”
“All right, so she won’t lay there all day. Just until 7:00.”
“She is awake. We woke her up. We gave those people something to say right outside her window at 5:00.”
“We made those tires stick to the road so all they did was spin and squeal. We made her listen to the traffic on the street. Made her think there was a lot of snow on the ground.”
“She didn’t get out of bed to look.”
“But we woke her up.”
“Now we have to get her on her feet. Out of bed. In motion.”
“The itch will do it.”
“You think so.”
“I know so!”
“Try it. What have we got to lose?”
“Told you so. Told you so. The itch did it. Not even 15 minutes. She is up. She is dressed. She is in motion.”
“Did you watch carefully? Take notes. So we can do it again tomorrow.”

DEBATE

This morning I had to laugh when I opened the bible to Job 40:25 “Can you lead about Leviathan with a hook.” I DON’T like opening the bible to Job. It usually is not good. This chapter Job had been arguing with God and God was responding with questions for Job to answer. I was reminded that I had been questioning the need for me to continue to write. Yesterday I opened a cookbook that I put together. It not only contain recipes that I make often, but verses of songs and poems that are meaningful to me. First I opened to a poem that was given to me when I sent To Pap, With Love to a publisher. “Never forget — Your presence is a gift to the world.” Next I opened to the Song THE SUMMONS. “Will you come and follow me if I but call your name.”

Okay, I understand. I’m being reminded to write. BUT I NEED SOMETHING TO WRITE ABOUT! It is not like I’m ignored by spirit — on the contrary — my life IS ALWAYS interesting. But I’ve grown accustomed to receiving help. I don’t get into the car without asking for “help” with my driving. As a matter of fact I’m usually asking for “help” many times during the day. It’s not that it is commonplace, except for me it probably is and I don’t note all the occasions.

Since the concept of my rambles is interaction with spirit I try to keep that the theme of my rambles.Since we spent the summer and part of the Fall in the country, I’m still trying to get caught up. No writing ideas, and I need three ramblers for the next three weeks. So I argue and receive “directions.”

I was reminded that many years ago I wrote The Voice. I was still learning the ways that spirit interacts with my life. Taking a writing class, our instructor asked us to write something different. I did, I LOVED IT and he wasn’t impressed. This mornings events reminded me.

Next week — for your enjoyment I will republish THE VOICES. It is in my book Journey With Me.

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